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funny quotes for your Self help needs

   The first gold star a child gets in school for the mere performance of a needful task is its first lesson in graft.
 ~quote about Society by Philip Wylie, Generation of Vipers, 1942

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   I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Ancient Persian Saying

   Act as if what you do makes a differenceIt does
 ~sayings on Sweetest Day by William James

   There is an objective reality out there, but we view it through the spectacles of our beliefs, attitudes, and values.
 ~quotations on Reality by David G. Myers, Social Psychology

   If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor
 ~famous funny quotes by Unknown

   It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.
 ~saying about funny by Roy Disney

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   The atom bombs are piling up in the factories, the police are prowling through the cities, the lies are streaming from the loudspeakers, but the earth is still going round the sun.
 ~quote about Society by George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant, 1950

   Before you talk about what you want - Really appreciate what you have before it's gone.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Ethan Daniel

   The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
 ~sayings on Happiness by Ernest Dimnet

   Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
 ~quotations on Conformity by Bernard Berenson, Notebook, 1892

   I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.
 ~famous funny quotes by Author Unknown

   The publishers and others should quit worrying about losing customers to TV. The guy who can sit through a trio of deodorant commercials to look at Flashgun Casey or swallow a flock of beer and loan-shark spiels in order to watch a couple of fourth-rate club fighters rub noses on the ropes is not losing any time from book reading.
 ~saying about funny by Raymond Chandler, 1946

   Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
 ~quote about Attitude by Buddha

   The beef industry has contributed to more American deaths than all the wars of this century, all natural disasters, and all automobile accidents combined. If beef is your idea of real food for real people you'd better live real close to a real good hospital.
 ~quotes on Vegetarianism by Neal Barnard, M.D.

   Suicide is man's way of telling God, You can't fire me - I quit.
 ~sayings on Death by Bill Maher, on Politically Incorrect, 1995

   To live in hearts we leave behind,Is not to die.
 ~quotations on Sympathy by Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"

   Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting.
 ~famous funny quotes by Edmund Burke

   I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one.
 ~saying about funny by Dag Hammarskjold, Markings, 1964

   People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fibre called courage.
 ~quote about Courage by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   The faintest waft is sometimes enough to induce feelings of hunger or anticipation, or to transport you back through time and space to a long-forgotten moment in your childhood. It can overwhelm you in an instant or simply tease you, creeping into your consciousness slowly and evaporating almost the moment it is detected.
 ~quotes on Memory by Stephen Lacey, Scent in Your Garden, 1991

   Promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise.
 ~sayings on Wise Words by Author Unknown

   If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
 ~quotations on Being Yourself by David Carradine

   As we grow old…the beauty steals inward.
 ~famous funny quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends.
 ~saying about funny by Samuel Pepys

   Warrior pose battles inner weakness and wins focus. You see that there is no war within you. You're on your own side, and you are your own strength.
 ~quote about Yoga by Terri Guillemets

   This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, human and otherwise, are imaginary, excepting only certain of the fairy folk, whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof.
 ~quotes on Reality by Neil Gaiman, Books of Magic III

   The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
 ~sayings on Society by Paul Valery

   We are born to inquire after truth; it belongs to a greater power to possess it. It is not, as Democritus said, hid in the bottom of the deeps, but rather elevated to an infinite height in the divine knowledge
 ~quotations on Birth by Michel de Montaigne

   The message of Christmas is that the visible material world is bound to the invisible spiritual world
 ~famous funny quotes by Author Unknown

   You must have long-range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short-range failures.
 ~saying about funny by Charles C. Noble

   Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever."
 ~quote about Retirement by Gene Perret

   Persons with weight of character carry, like planets, their atmospheres along with them in their orbits.
 ~quotes on Integrity by Thomas Hardy

   Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting lower ever since.
 ~sayings on Humankind by Josh Billings

   You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love
 ~quotations on Love Quotes by Michael

   Better bread with water than cake with trouble
 ~famous funny quotes by Russian Proverb

   Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves.
 ~saying about funny by Elissa Melamed

   When I look for my existence I do not look for it in myself.
 ~quote about Self by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot.
 ~quotes on Risk by Ralph Waldo Emerson

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