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funniest movie quotes for your Self help needs

   Lighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
 ~quote about Women by Hermione Gingold

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   A gifted small girl has explained that pins are a great means of saving life, by not swallowing them.
 ~quotes on Perspective by Charles Edward Montague, Dramatic Values

   My language is the common prostitute that I turn into a virgin.
 ~sayings on Writing by Karl Kraus

   Those who make the worst use of their time most complain of its brevity.
 ~quotations on Carpe Diem by Jean de La Bruyere

   On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
 ~funniest movie quotes by Woody Allen

   People see God every day, they just don't recognize him.
 ~saying about funniest movie by Pearl Bailey

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   One joy scatters a hundred griefs.
 ~quote about Happiness by Chinese Proverb

   There is no personal charm so great as the charm of a cheerful temperament.
 ~quotes on Charm by Henry Van Dyke

   What is both surprising and delightful is that spectators are allowed, and even expected, to join in the vocal part of the game.... There is no reason why the field should not try to put the batsman off his stroke at the critical moment by neatly timed disparagements of his wife's fidelity and his mother's respectability.
 ~sayings on Baseball by George Bernard Shaw

   A hunter of shadows, himself a shade.
 ~quotations on Hawww by Homer

   If you sincerely desire a truly well-rounded education, you must study the extremists, the obscure and nutty. You need the balance! Your poor brain is already being impregnated with middle-of-the-road crap, twenty-four hours a day, no matter what. Network TV, newspapers, radio, magazines at the supermarket... even if you never watch, read, listen, or leave your house, even if you are deaf and blind, the telepathic pressure alone of the uncountable normals surrounding you will insure that you are automatically well-grounded in consensus reality.
 ~funniest movie quotes by Rev. Ivan Stang, High Weirdness By Mail

   I doubt if anything learnt at school is of more value than great literature learnt by heart.
 ~saying about funniest movie by Richard Livingstone

   Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies.
 ~quote about Music by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

   No one is a firmer believer in the power of prayer than the devil; not that he practices it, but he suffers from it.
 ~quotes on Prayer by Guy H. King

   Only on paper has humanity yet achieved glory, beauty, truth, knowledge, virtue, and abiding love.
 ~sayings on Humankind by George Bernard Shaw

   Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.
 ~quotations on Walking by Henry David Thoreau

   Who well lives, long lives; for this age of ours should not be numbered by years, days, and hours.
 ~funniest movie quotes by Guillaume de Salluste Du Bartas, Divine Weeks and Works, 1578

   When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.
 ~saying about funniest movie by Hugo L. Black

   War is not an adventure. It is a disease. It is like typhus.
 ~quote about War by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

   Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die. Life is so stupid I can't stand it.
 ~quotes on Life by Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

   Short as life is, we make it shorter by wasting time.
 ~sayings on Living by

   If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.
 ~quotations on Meetings by Dave Barry, Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn

   God is the perfect poet.
 ~funniest movie quotes by Robert Browning

   If fame were based on kindness instead of popularity, on understanding and not on worldwide attention, you would be the biggest celebrity on earth. And to my heart, you already are.
 ~saying about funniest movie by Anonymous

   Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
 ~quote about Age by Author Unknown

   If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Vince Lombardi

   Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.
 ~sayings on Conformity by Christopher Morley

   He that has energy enough to root out a vice should go further, and try to plant a virtue in its place.
 ~quotations on Virtue by Charles Caleb Colton

   Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends
 ~funniest movie quotes by Laurie Kuslansky

   Time is the fire in which we burn.
 ~saying about funniest movie by Delmore Schwartz, Calmly We Walk Through This April's Day, 1937 (Thank you, George.)

   Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
 ~quote about Living by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Just as pieces stitched together in a quilt warm our bodies, scrapbooks bind together memories to warm our hearts.
 ~quotes on Scrapbooking by Author Unknown

   Dictionaries are like watches; the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.
 ~sayings on Language by Samuel Johnson

   If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
 ~quotations on Honesty by Mark Twain

   No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
 ~funniest movie quotes by Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

   No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.
 ~saying about funniest movie by George Bernard Shaw

   It is proof of high culture to say the greatest matters in the simplest way.
 ~quote about Compassion by Emerson

   Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse.
 ~quotes on Curmudgeons by Bill Press

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