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as hell sayings for your Self help needs

   I believe in God; I just don't trust anyone who works for him.
 ~quote about Religion by Author unknown, from a stand-up comedy routine on television

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   Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud snort noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.
 ~quotes on Parenting by P.J. O'Rourke

   Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination.
 ~sayings on Science by John Dewey, The Quest for Certainty, 1929

   We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
 ~quotations on Love by Author Unknown

   A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
 ~funny as hell sayings by Jean de La Fontaine

   The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it
 ~saying about as hell by Winston Churchill

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   A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world
 ~quote about For a Friend by Lois Wyse

   I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemiesThe real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress
 ~quotes on Adversity by André Gide

   There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you - just reach deep into yourself!
 ~sayings on Confidence by The Quote Garden

   TV a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville.
 ~quotations on Television by Goodman Ace

   Hardship is best sailed with a heart ship.
 ~funny as hell sayings by Terri Guillemets, Dream Quotes: The Imprisoned Writer Speaks at Night

   It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
 ~saying about as hell by Buddha

   Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars... and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are.
 ~quote about Trees by Osho

   No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odour to the nostrils.
 ~quotes on Caffeine by Henry Ward Beecher

   God never made his work for man to mend.
 ~sayings on Technology by John Dryden

   God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e., everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
 ~quotations on Poker by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens, 1991

   Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.
 ~funny as hell sayings by John Archibald Wheeler

   A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
 ~saying about as hell by American Proverb

   The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground.
 ~quote about Philosophical by Buddha

   Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color
 ~quotes on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Author Unknown

   Not to be born at all would be the best thing for man, never to behold the sun's scorching rays; but if one is born, then one is to press as quickly as possible to the portals of Hades, and rest there under the earth.
 ~sayings on Curmudgeons by Thiognis

   My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
 ~quotations on Marriage by Author Unknown

   Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own.
 ~funny as hell sayings by Robert Louis Stevenson

   As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
 ~saying about as hell by Author Unknown

   You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.
 ~quote about Self-Discovery by Alan Alda

   I fear vastly more a futile, incompetent old age than I do any form of death.
 ~quotes on Age by William Allen White

   The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them; it is by excusing nothing that pure love shows itself.
 ~sayings on Friendship by Moliere

   Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving.
 ~quotations on Time by Martin Amis, Money

   One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.
 ~funny as hell sayings by Michael Cibenko

   I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
 ~saying about as hell by Author Unknown

   The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents
 ~quote about Death by Bob Schaffer

   Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.
 ~quotes on Poetry by Leonard Cohen

   Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
 ~sayings on Humankind by William Hazlitt, The English Comic Writers, 1819

   And on the eighth day God said, Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!
 ~quotations on Humorous by Author Unknown

   I now have one of the better libraries. I admit that I haven't read everything in my library, but I feel smarter just walking in it.
 ~funny as hell sayings by Jim Rohn

   THINK ABOUT IT - The brain is like a muscle. When we think well, we feel good.
 ~saying about as hell by Carl Sagan

   Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
 ~quote about Cinema by Alfred Hitchcock

   If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
 ~quotes on Jobs by Malcolm S. Forbes

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