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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   If... the machine of government... is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then, I say, break the law.
 ~quote about Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau, On the Duty of Civil Disobediance, 1849

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   Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.
 ~quotes on Society by Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973

   We shall be inclined to pronounce the voyage that led to the way to this New World as the most epoch-making event of all that have occurred since the birth of Christ
 ~sayings on Columbus Day by John Fiske

   The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
 ~quotations on Jewelry by Salvador Dalí

   Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is still running it? It is certainly conceivable that He may have finished it and then turned it over to lesser gods to operate.
 ~funny ass quotes by H.L. Mencken

   I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.
 ~saying about ass by Arturo Toscanini

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   Religion seems to have a way of making people abandon logic.
 ~quote about Religion by Amanda Baxter

   They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.
 ~quotes on Golf by Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players

   Whatever thrift is, it is not avarice. Avarice is not generous; and, after all, it is the thrifty people who are generous.
 ~sayings on Thrift by Lord Rosebery

   If you're going through hell, keep going
 ~quotations on Adversity by Winston Churchill

   How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
 ~funny ass quotes by Woody Allen, Selections from the Allen Notebooks, Without Feathers, 1975

   Our country, right or wrongWhen right to be kept right; when wrong to be put right
 ~saying about ass by Carl Schurz

   One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless.
 ~quote about Age by Liz Smith

   If a horse can't eat it, I don't want to play on it.
 ~quotes on Baseball by Dick Allen, on artificial turf, 1970

   Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
 ~sayings on Wisdom by Doug Larson

   Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.
 ~quotations on Politics by Charles Krauthammer

   I get by with a little help from my friends
 ~funny ass quotes by John Lennon

   No one knows what they'll do in a moment of crisis and hypothetical questions get hypothetical answers.
 ~saying about ass by Joan Baez, What Would You Do If....?

   Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
 ~quote about Animals by George Eliot

   If you haven't had at least a slight poetic crack in the heart, you have been cheated by nature.
 ~quotes on Self-Discovery by Phyllis Battelle

   I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn.
 ~sayings on Housework by C.E. Cowman

   I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
 ~quotations on Food by Woody Allen

   Most men, after a little freedom, have preferred authority with the consoling assurances and the economy of effort which it brings.
 ~funny ass quotes by Walter Lippmann, A Preface to Morals, 1929

   There must be more to life than having everything!
 ~saying about ass by Maurice Sendak

   What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
 ~quote about Men by Author Unknown

   The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions.
 ~quotes on Freedom by Adlai Stevenson, speech, New York City, 28 August 1952

   The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don't like their rules, whose would you use?
 ~sayings on Miscellaneous by Dale Carnegie

   He that shuts love out, in turn shall be Shut out from love, and on her threshold lie, Howling in outer darkness
 ~quotations on Romantic Quotes by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

   Patriotism is easy to understand in America - it means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country
 ~funny ass quotes by Calvin Coolidge

   A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.
 ~saying about ass by Napoleon

   A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy
 ~quote about I Love You by George Jean Nathan

   The Cross is a gibbet - rather an odd thing to make use of as a talisman against bad luck, if that is how we regard it. Or is it, instead, a cynical reminder that Virtue usually gets pilloried whenever it makes one of its occasional appearances in this world?
 ~quotes on Religion by Denis Johnston, The Brazen Horn

   If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
 ~sayings on Emotions by Abraham H. Maslow

   The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
 ~quotations on Learning by Alvin Toffler

   Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.
 ~funny ass quotes by Corrie ten Boom

   I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
 ~saying about ass by Stanley Baldwin

   It is the man of science, eager to have his every opinion regenerated, his every idea rationalized, by drinking at the fountain of fact, and devoting all the energies of his life to the cult of truth, not as he understands it, but as he does not yet understand it, that ought properly to be called a philosopher.
 ~quote about Science by Charles Peirce

   Life itself is the proper binge.
 ~quotes on Dieting by Julia Child

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