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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   To the aesthete it is an art form, an athletic ballet. To the spiritually inclined it is a religion.
 ~quote about Soccer by Paul Gardner

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   If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
 ~quotes on Funny Quotes by Dick Cavett

   In the hope to meet, Shortly again, and make our absence sweet.
 ~sayings on Missing You by Ben Jonson

   The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
 ~quotations on Adversity by Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950

   My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
 ~funny ass quotes by Penn Jillett

   My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called 'Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film
 ~saying about ass by enelope Lombard

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   It is not love that is blind, but jealousy.
 ~quote about Jealousy by Lawrence Durrell, Justine, 1957

   There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.
 ~quotes on Anger by Alexandre Dumas

   Healthy people are invalids who don't know it.
 ~sayings on Health by Jules Romains, Dr. Knock, 1923

   We find comfort in those who agree with us, but growth in those who donít agree.
 ~quotations on Growth by

   Half the interest of a garden is the constant exercise of the imagination.
 ~funny ass quotes by Mrs. C.W. Earle, Pot-Pourri from a Surrey Garden, 1897 (Thank you, Jessica.)

   Although I am almost illiterate mathematically, I grasped very early in life that any one who can count to ten can count upward indefinitely if he is fool enough to do so.
 ~saying about ass by Robertson Davies, Of the Conservation of Youth, The Table Talk of Samuel Marchbanks

   Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one
 ~quote about Books by Robert Byrne

   Without labor nothing prospers.
 ~quotes on Labor by Sophocles

   It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.
 ~sayings on Letters by Jacques Barzun, God's Country and Mine, 1954

   A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession.
 ~quotations on Medical by Martin H. Fischer

   We're finally going to get the bill for the Industrial Age. If the projections are right, it's going to be a big one: the ecological collapse of the planet.
 ~funny ass quotes by Jeremy Rifkin, World Press Review, 30 December 1989

   Home is not where you live but where they understand you.
 ~saying about ass by Christian Morgenstern

   There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope.
 ~quote about Hope by Edgar Howe

   Desert rains are usually so definitely demarked that the story of the man who washed his hands in the edge of an Arizona thunder shower without wetting his cuffs seems almost credible.
 ~quotes on Arizona by Administration in the State of Arizona, U.S. public relief program, 1935-1943

   Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.
 ~sayings on Sex by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   A man who has no office to go to - I don't care who he is - is a trial of which you can have no conception.
 ~quotations on Labor by George Bernard Shaw

   [Psychoanalysis] is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
 ~funny ass quotes by Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts, 1945

   My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, You're tearing up the grass. We're not raising grass, Dad would reply. We're raising boys.
 ~saying about ass by Harmon Killebrew

   You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job
 ~quote about For a Friend by Laurence J. Peter

   Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.
 ~quotes on Procrastination by Gerald Vaughan

   I bake all the time, but I don't like to eat the cookies when they're done. I just like the dough
 ~sayings on Celebrity by Sharon Stone

   Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
 ~quotations on Ignorance by Author unknown, supposedly from a Washington Post reader submission word contest in which readers we

   I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
 ~funny ass quotes by John F. Kennedy

   It has been left to our generation to discover that you can move heaven and earth to save five minutes and then not have the faintest idea what to do with them when you have saved them.
 ~saying about ass by C.E.M. Joad

   Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote
 ~quote about Election Day by George Jean Nathan

   To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems
 ~quotes on Party Invitations by Homer Simpson

   You can't fall off the floor.
 ~sayings on Philosophical by Author Unknown

   There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself
 ~quotations on Fathers Day by John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

   If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
 ~funny ass quotes by Edgar Watson Howe

   How many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? You can subtract it as many times as you want, and it leaves 76 every time.
 ~saying about ass by Author Unknown

   If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
 ~quote about Smiles by Andy Rooney

   Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is
 ~quotes on Women's Greetings by Author Unknown

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