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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   If the wind will not serve, take to the oars
 ~quote about Adversity by Latin Proverb

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   Luck never gives; it only lends.
 ~quotes on Luck by Swedish Proverb

   Dress is at all times a frivolous distinction, and excessive solicitude about it often destroys its own aim.
 ~sayings on Clothing by Jane Austen

   It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
 ~quotations on Conformity by Herman Melville

   You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.
 ~funny ass quotes by Michael Jordan

   Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn't always have to be their top priority.
 ~saying about ass by William Arthur Ward

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   Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
 ~quote about Attitude by Confucius

   The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
 ~quotes on Marriage by Peter Devries

   History: gossip well told.
 ~sayings on History by Elbert Hubbard, The Roycroft Dictionary

   A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.
 ~quotations on Trust by Edgar A. Shoaff

   It's one of nature's way that we often feel closer to distant generations than to the generation immediately preceding us.
 ~funny ass quotes by Igor Stravinsky

   Heresies are experiments in man's unsatisfied search for truth.
 ~saying about ass by H.G. Wells, Crux Ansata

   I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see
 ~quote about Thinking of You by John Burroughs

   Happiness is a form of courage.
 ~quotes on Happiness by Holbrook Jackson

   I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't.
 ~sayings on Honesty by Mark Twain

   Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy? They suck it out of their grandparents.
 ~quotations on Grandparents by Gene Perret

   We grow with years more fragile in body, but morally stouter, and can throw off the chill of a bad conscience almost at once.
 ~funny ass quotes by Logan Pearsall Smith

   Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
 ~saying about ass by Will Rogers

   Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
 ~quote about Life by Joseph Addison

   Censorship offends me.
 ~quotes on Censorship by Author Unknown

   The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
 ~sayings on Confidence by Author Unknown

   I can resist anything but temptation.
 ~quotations on Funny Quotes by Oscar Wilde

   Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.
 ~funny ass quotes by James Thurber

   Nothing focuses the mind better than the constant sight of a competitor who wants to wipe you off the map
 ~saying about ass by Wayne Calloway

   Hitler destroyed the German university with design; we destroyed ours without.
 ~quote about College by Martin H. Fischer

   We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the rest of our lives there.
 ~quotes on Future by Charles F. Kettering

   A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
 ~sayings on Vacations by Earl Wilson

   Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where they is no river.
 ~quotations on Politics by Nikita Khrushchev

   It is with our passions, as it is with fire and water, they are good servants but bad masters.
 ~funny ass quotes by Aesop

   The season starts too early and finishes too late and there are too many games in between.
 ~saying about ass by Bill Veeck

   The unique impression of Jesus upon mankind - whose name is not so much written as ploughed into the history of the world - is proof of the subtle virtue of this infusion. Jesus belonged to the race of prophets. He saw with open eyes the mystery of the soul. One man was true to what is in you and me. He, as I think, is the only soul in history who has appreciated the worth of man.
 ~quote about Jesus Christ by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   A nation may lose its liberties in a day and not miss them in a century.
 ~quotes on Freedom by Baron de Montesquieu

   Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
 ~sayings on Attitude by Michael Jordan

   The progress of an artist is a continual self-sacrifice, a continual extinction of personality.
 ~quotations on Art by T.S. Eliot, Tradition and the Individual Talent, 1919

   When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation.
 ~funny ass quotes by Vanya Cohen

   I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
 ~saying about ass by Joan Rivers

   Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity.
 ~quote about Television by Malcolm Muggeridge

   The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
 ~quotes on Driving by Noelie Altito

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