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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   The flower that you hold in your hands was born today and already it is as old as you are.
 ~quote about Time by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

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   Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

   I take my only exercise acting as pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
 ~sayings on Exercise by Mark Twain

   Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding
 ~quotations on Patriot Day by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.
 ~funny ass quotes by Steve Garvey

   Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
 ~saying about ass by Chinese Proverb

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   So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.
 ~quote about Health by A.J. Reb Materi, Our Family

   The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.
 ~quotes on Being Yourself by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

   I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
 ~sayings on Animals by Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907

   Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.
 ~quotations on Women by Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

   I feel so agitated all the time, like a hamster in search of a wheel
 ~funny ass quotes by Carrie Fisher

   Art is not a thing; it is a way.
 ~saying about ass by Elbert Hubbard

   Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed.
 ~quote about Politics by Mao Zedong

   In a job, as in love, faults are thick where love is thin.
 ~quotes on Love by

   I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow
 ~sayings on Friends by Cher

   When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart.
 ~quotations on Prayer by John Bunyan

   I see rejection in my skin, worry in my cancers, bitterness and hate in my aching joints. I failed to take care of my mind, and so my body now goes to hospital.
 ~funny ass quotes by Astrid Alauda

   Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny.
 ~saying about ass by Carl Schurz, address, Faneuil Hall, Boston, 1859

   A man's brain has a more difficult time shifting from thinking to feeling than a women's brain does.
 ~quote about Wisdoms by Barbara De Angelis

   Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.
 ~quotes on Action by Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

   He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
 ~sayings on Imagination by Joseph Joubert

   Nothing begins, and nothing ends, that is not paid with moan; for we are born in other's pain, and perish in our own.
 ~quotations on Curmudgeons by Francis Thompson

   I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
 ~funny ass quotes by English professor, Ohio University

   Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons.
 ~saying about ass by Aldous Huxley

   Every disease is a physician.
 ~quote about Medical by Irish Proverb

   I am angry at the Catholic church, because it says that women can't be priests. Right. Like my big dream is to run around in a long black dress and fuck altar boys. But I think I should have the choice. The pope agrees that women cannot be priests, and this is his reason: because there were no women priests when Jesus lived. And that's true. But there was also no pope. Does that stop him?
 ~quotes on Religion by E.L. Greggory

   Knock the t off the can't.
 ~sayings on Confidence by Samuel Johnson

   And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.
 ~quotations on Nature by William Shakespeare

   Christmas is for childrenBut it is for grown-ups tooEven if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts
 ~funny ass quotes by Lenora Mattingly Weber

   Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.
 ~saying about ass by English Proverb

   It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
 ~quote about Happiness by Berke Breathed

   Any man who does not make himself proficient in at least two languages other than his own is a fool.
 ~quotes on Language by Martin H. Fischer

   The exquisite sight, sound, and smell of wilderness is many times more powerful if it is earned through physical achievement, if it comes at the end of a long and fatiguing trip for which vigorous good health is necessary. Practically speaking, this means that no one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.
 ~sayings on Environment by Garrett Hardin, The Ecologist, February 1974

   Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
 ~quotations on Humor by

   Sports is human life in microcosm.
 ~funny ass quotes by Howard Cosell

   It seems to me that any full grown, mature adult would have a desire to be responsible, to help where he can in a world that needs so very much, that threatens us so very much.
 ~saying about ass by Norman Lear

   The... patient should be made to understand that he or she must take charge of his own life. Don't take your body to the doctor as if he were a repair shop.
 ~quote about Health by Quentin Regestein

   That old-fashioned golden rule is still the best rule fro living a rich, full life. Life is a slow process of learning the golden rule, the basis of the 45 greatest religious.
 ~quotes on Living by

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