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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   Any baseball is beautiful. No other small package comes as close to the ideal in design and utility. It is a perfect object for a man's hand. Pick it up and it instantly suggests its purpose: it is meant to be thrown a considerable distance-thrown hard and with precision. Its feel and heft are the beginning of the sport's critical dimensions; if it were a fraction of an inch larger or smaller, a few centigrams heavier or lighter, the game of baseball would be utterly different
 ~quote about Baseball by

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   Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
 ~quotes on Funny Quotes by Groucho Marx

   I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green.
 ~sayings on Gardens by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mosses from and Old Manse

   Newspapers: dead trees with information smeared on them.
 ~quotations on Trees by Horizon, Electronic Frontier

   A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
 ~funny ass quotes by Helen Rowland

   Envy is the most stupid of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it.
 ~saying about ass by Honore de Balzac

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   There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go.
 ~quote about Happiness by Frederick Faber

   And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that can understand.
 ~quotes on Violence by George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra

   We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
 ~sayings on Happiness by Frederick Keonig

   Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.
 ~quotations on Daydreaming by Luis Buñuel

   Art is an adventure that never seems to end.
 ~funny ass quotes by Jason, Los Cerros Middle School, 1999

   Speaking ill of others is cheap, dishonest way to praise ourselves.
 ~saying about ass by

   If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
 ~quote about Goals by J.M. Power

   The Theologian is an owl, sitting on an old dead branch in the tree of human knowledge, and hooting the same old hoots that have been hooted for hundreds and thousands of years, but he has never given a hoot for progress.
 ~quotes on Religion by Emmet F. Fields

   The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the Four F's: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.
 ~sayings on Sex by Unknown psychology professor in neuropsychology course

   Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
 ~quotations on Gratitude by G.B. Stern

   What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.
 ~funny ass quotes by Thomas Paine

   I look to a time when brotherhood needs no publicity; to a time when a brotherhood award would be as ridiculous as an award for getting up each morning.
 ~saying about ass by Daniel D. Mich

   Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
 ~quote about Society by Bill Vaughn

   Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
 ~quotes on Sex by Casey Stengel

   We ought to dance with rapture that we might be alive... and part of the living, incarnate cosmos.
 ~sayings on Dancing by D.H. Lawrence

   Affectation is a greater enemy to the face than smallpox.
 ~quotations on Attitude by English Proverb

   To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.
 ~funny ass quotes by W. Somerset Maugham

   I didn't want to tell the tree or weed what it was. I wanted it to tell me something and through me express its meaning in nature.
 ~saying about ass by Wynn Bullock

   It is unfortunate, considering that enthusiasm moves the world, that so few enthusiasts can be trusted to speak the truth.
 ~quote about Enthusiasm by Arthur James Balfour

   Speed in tennis is a strange mixture of intuition, guesswork, footwork and hair-trigger reflexes. Many of the players famed for quickness on court would finish dead last in a field of schoolgirls in a race over any distance more than ten yards.
 ~quotes on Tennis by Eugene Scott

   Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
 ~sayings on Marriage by Groucho Marx

   Sickness is poor-spirited, and cannot serve anyone; it must husband its resources to live. But health or fullness answers its own ends, and has to spare, runs over, and inundates the neighborhoods and creeks of other men's necessities.
 ~quotations on Health by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Beauty draws us with a single hair.
 ~funny ass quotes by Alexander Pope

   The middle sort of historians (of which the most part are) spoil all; they will chew our meat for us.
 ~saying about ass by Michel de Montaigne, translated

   We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
 ~quote about Sports by Vince Lombardi

   Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute. Or you might not write the paragraph at all.
 ~quotes on Writing by Franklin P. Adams, Half a Loaf, 1927

   Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
 ~sayings on Kindness by Attributed to both T.H. Thompson and John Watson

   Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it.
 ~quotations on Honesty by Mark Twain

   All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
 ~funny ass quotes by buddha

   Live simply that others might simply live.
 ~saying about ass by Elizabeth Seaton

   It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.
 ~quote about Sex by Chinese Proverb

   May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters.
 ~quotes on Golf by Author Unknown

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