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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   Very little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost it.
 ~quote about America by Eric Nicol

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   As for my next book, I am going to hold myself from writing it till I have it impending in me: grown heavy in my mind like a ripe pear; pendant, gravid, asking to be cut or it will fall.
 ~quotes on Writing by Virginia Woolf

   Every path hath a puddle.
 ~sayings on Adversity by George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum

   Open your heart - open it wide; someone is standing outside.
 ~quotations on Kindness by Quoted in Believe: A Christmas Treasury by Mary Engelbreit

   What is one to say about June, the time of perfect young summer, the fulfillment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade.
 ~funny ass quotes by Gertrude Jekyll

   Envy slays itself by its own arrows.
 ~saying about ass by Author Unknown

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   It frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
 ~quote about Money by Groucho Marx

   Mediocrity is a hand-rail.
 ~quotes on Confidence by Charles Louis de Secondat, Baron de Montesquieu, Mes pensées

   But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.
 ~sayings on Language by George Orwell

   Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes, and adversity is not without comforts and hopes.
 ~quotations on Adversity by Francis Bacon

   There is no education like adversity
 ~funny ass quotes by Disraeli

   Many of us are equal to life's emergencies who cannot bear its day-after-dayness.
 ~saying about ass by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   (Referring to a glass of water) I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody
 ~quote about Comedy by Steven Wright

   In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day
 ~quotes on Adversity by F. Scott Fitzgerald

   Nothing hits harder nor sticks longer than a wise timely tip.
 ~sayings on Proverbs by

   Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.
 ~quotations on Marriage by William Penn

   When we Indians kill meat, we eat it all up.... When we build houses, we make little holes. When we burn grass for grasshoppers, we don't ruin things. We shake down acorns and pinenuts. We don't chop down the trees.
 ~funny ass quotes by Wintu Indian, quoted in Julian Burger, The Gaia Atlas of First Peoples, 1990

   Union gives strength.
 ~saying about ass by Aesop

   Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.
 ~quote about Carpe Diem by Margaret Fuller

   Words of kindness are more powerful than cruel swords.
 ~quotes on Kindness by Jose B. Cabajar

   When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.
 ~sayings on Love by Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

   Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive
 ~quotations on Love Quotes by Havelock Ellis

   Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
 ~funny ass quotes by Paula Poundstone

   I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
 ~saying about ass by Cicero

   I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it?
 ~quote about Dieting by Author Unknown

   Those who do not think about the future cannot have one.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Brian Tracy

   All you need is love
 ~sayings on Romantic Quotes by John Lennon

   Women are like dogs really. They love like dogs, a little insistently. And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket.
 ~quotations on Women by Mary Roberts Rinehart

   We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.
 ~funny ass quotes by Albert Einstein

   If we resist our passions, it is more because of their weakness than because of our strength.
 ~saying about ass by François, duc de La Rochefoucauld

   There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time.
 ~quote about Time by Napoleon I, Maxims, 1815

   We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
 ~quotes on Food by Alfred E. Newman

   Virtues are dangerous as vices insofar as they are allowed to rule over one as authorities and not as qualities one develops oneself.
 ~sayings on Virtue by Friedrich Nietzsche

   What we are is God's gift to usWhat we become is our gift to God
 ~quotations on Graduation by Eleanor Powell

   Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.
 ~funny ass quotes by Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren

   Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude.
 ~saying about ass by Maurice Baring

   We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.
 ~quote about Freedom by Edward R. Murrow

   He who opens a school door, closes a prison
 ~quotes on Teacher Appreciation by Victor Hugo

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