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   Enduring habits I hate.... Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits.
 ~quote about Habits by Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882

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   They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.
 ~quotes on Golden Mean by William Shakespeare

   Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them.
 ~sayings on Hope by Vincent McNabb

   In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
 ~quotations on Adversity by F. Scott Fitzgerald

   What a weird thing smoking is and I can't stop it. I feel cosy, have a sense of well-being when I'm smoking, poisoning myself, killing myself slowly. Not so slowly maybe. I have all kinds of pains I don't want to know about and I know that's what they're from. But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself.
 ~funny ass quotes by Russell Hoban, Turtle Diary, 1975

   They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
 ~saying about ass by Author Unknown

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   In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
 ~quote about Gratitude by H.L. Mencken

   It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.
 ~quotes on Teenagers by Edgar W. Howe

   Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.
 ~sayings on Insects by Mark Twain

   The PC [political correctness] movement exists not in order to improve the well-being of those whose oppression it purports to combat. Rather, its purpose is to wrap its proponents in a kind of verbal comfort-blanket. Beneath its complacent cosiness and nauseating sanctimony, the intrepid shock-troops of 'populist authoritarianism' pretend that suppressing the language of prejudice is the same as eliminating prejudice itself. Smug and self-satisfied, having assuaged whatever guilt they may have felt through their attacks on the 'non-PC', they ignore the real inequalities, ignominies and powerlessness of those whom they pretend to champion. They are instead complacently content at their 'victory' in contorting the language of 'acceptable' discourse in the classroom, in the textbook and in the mass media.
 ~quotations on Language by Erik Kowal, as posted on The Wordwizard Portal

   Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart! Else it may be their miserable fortune, when some mightier touch than their own may have awakened all her sensibilities, to be reproached even for the calm content, the marble image of happiness, which they will have imposed upon her as the warm reality.
 ~funny ass quotes by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

   Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of filling space.
 ~saying about ass by Rebecca West

   Heat, ma’am! I said; it was so dreadful here, that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.
 ~quote about Arizona by Sydney Smith, Lady Holland’s Memoir (It's actually not about Arizona, but it fits!)

   When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
 ~quotes on Philosophical by Friedrich Nietzche

   The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.
 ~sayings on Insults by David Gerrold

   In church, sacred music would make believers of us all - but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance.
 ~quotations on Religion by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Never praise or criticize yourself. Both embarrass others. Our criticism is always believed, our praise seldom.
 ~funny ass quotes by

   There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
 ~saying about ass by Chinese Proverb

   Firelight will not let you read fine stories but it's warm and you won't see the dust on the floor.
 ~quote about Light by Irish Proverb

   I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time constraints and have the intellectual depth of hamsters. But TV news can only present the bare bones of a story; it takes a newspaper, with its capability to present vast amounts of information, to render the story truly boring.
 ~quotes on Media Journalism by Dave Barry

   Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
 ~sayings on Truth by Aldous Huxley

   Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing
 ~quotations on Sports by Vince Lombardi

   My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I should be doing.
 ~funny ass quotes by Lonzo Idolswine

   People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
 ~saying about ass by Leo J. Burke

   Use you head to handle yourself; your heart to handle others.
 ~quote about Proverbs by

   I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Parents have to take better control.
 ~quotes on Parenting by Charles Barkley

   Youth is a disease from which we all recover.
 ~sayings on Age by Dorothy Fulheim

   We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.
 ~quotations on Wisdom by George Bernard Shaw

   As iron is eaten by rust, so are the envious consumed by envy.
 ~funny ass quotes by Antisthenes

   In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners.
 ~saying about ass by Jonathon Miller

   We often forgive those who bore us, but never those whom we bore.
 ~quote about Bores by Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims

   Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.
 ~quotes on Crying by Christian Nevell Bovee

   The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand.
 ~sayings on Language by Lewis Thomas

   How can you be a sage if you're pretty? You can't get your wizard papers without wrinkles.
 ~quotations on Wisdom by Bill Veeck

   Faith is like radar that sees through the fog.
 ~funny ass quotes by Corrie Ten Boom, Tramp for the Lord

   Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair
 ~saying about ass by William Cowper

   Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them
 ~quote about Children by Jonas Salk

   The real history does not get written, because it is not in people's brains but in their nerves and vitals.
 ~quotes on History by Alfred North Whitehead, Dialogues of Alfred North Whitehead

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