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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading
 ~quote about Computers by Steve Jobs

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   All right Mister, let me tell you what winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, give more than anyone else
 ~quotes on Sports by Vince Lombardi

   Yes, one must suffer, even in vain, so as not to have lived in vain.
 ~sayings on Adversity by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   God is a child who amuses himself, going from laughing to crying for no reason, each day reinventing the world to the chagrin of hair-splitters, pedants, and preachers, who try to teach God his job as Creator.
 ~quotations on Religion by Elie Faure, L'Esprit des formes, 1927

   We are all such a waste of our potential, like three-way lamps using one-way bulbs.
 ~funny ass quotes by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   He who does not fill his world with phantoms remains alone.
 ~saying about ass by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

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   If the sole reason why you must not kill your neighbour is because God has forbidden it and will severely punish you for it in this or the next life - then, when you learn that there is no God and that you need not fear His punishment, you will certainly kill your neighbour without hesitation, and you can only be prevented from doing so by mundane force. Thus either these dangerous masses must be held down most severely and kept most carefully away from any chance of intellectual awakening, or else the relationship between civilization and religion must undergo a fundamental revision.
 ~quote about Religion by Sigmund Freud, The Future of an Illusion

   Character is higher than intellect.
 ~quotes on Intelligence by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
 ~sayings on Dogs by Dave Barry

   Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.
 ~quotations on Procrastination by William James

   I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head.
 ~funny ass quotes by John Updike

   Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.
 ~saying about ass by Robert Schuller

   Quotations will tell the full measure of meaning, if you have enough of them.
 ~quote about Quotations by James Murray

   Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
 ~quotes on Adversity by Rainer Maria Rilke

   Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
 ~sayings on Trees by Cree Indian Proverb

   The tyrant is nothing but a slave turned inside out.
 ~quotations on Perspective by Herbert Spencer

   Poetry is nobody's business except the poet's, and everybody else can fuck off.
 ~funny ass quotes by Philip Larkin

   Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
 ~saying about ass by Author Unknown

   A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
 ~quote about Funny Quotes by Bob Hope

   If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
 ~quotes on Money by Author Unknown

   Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
 ~sayings on Famous Saying by Pierre Laplace

   Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
 ~quotations on Television by Alfred Hitchcock

   Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life
 ~funny ass quotes by Author Unknown

   Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
 ~saying about ass by Jules Feiffer

   I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
 ~quote about Self-Respect by Frederick Douglass

   There are aphorisms that, like air planes, stay up only while they are in motion.
 ~quotes on Quotations by Vladimir Nabokov

   Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
 ~sayings on Animals by Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769

   If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.
 ~quotations on Alcohol by Joseph Schenck

   Children make you want to start life over.
 ~funny ass quotes by Muhammad Ali

   Might we not say to the confused voices which sometimes arise from the depths of our being: Ladies, be so kind as to speak only four at a time?
 ~saying about ass by Madame Swetchine

   Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
 ~quote about Weather by George Carlin

   Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Dale Carnegie

   Instead of working to earn something, work to become something. Work to become fulfilled. Work to become useful to others.
 ~sayings on Attitude by Dianna Booher

   If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.
 ~quotations on Perseverance by Flavia Weedn, Flavia and the Dream Maker

   Because they know the name of what I am looking for, they think they know what I am looking for!
 ~funny ass quotes by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel.
 ~saying about ass by Judge Sturgess

   When I am in the country I wish to vegetate like the country.
 ~quote about Country by William Hazlitt, Table Talk

   Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.
 ~quotes on Risk by Samuel Johnson, Rasselas, 1759

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