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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over.
 ~quote about Smiles by Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

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   I'm in favor of it as long as it's multiple choice.
 ~quotes on Drugs by Kurt Rambis, on drug testing

   A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools
 ~sayings on April Fool's Day by Douglas Adams

   Happiness is a matter of one's most ordinary and everyday mode of consciousness being busy and lively and unconcerned with self.
 ~quotations on Happiness by Iris Murdoch

   How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!
 ~funny ass quotes by Charles Lamb, Last Essays of Elia

   The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.
 ~saying about ass by Sigmund Freud

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   Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush to the net.
 ~quote about Age by Franklin Adams

   I do not believe in God, for that implies an effort of the will - I see God everywhere!
 ~quotes on God by Jean Favre

   The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones.
 ~sayings on Habits by Somerset Maugham

   The color of the mountains is Buddha's body; the sound of running water is his great speech.
 ~quotations on Nature by Dogen

   Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking atavists mounted on foot-powered pairs of Hula-Hoops would have us pumping our legs, gritting our teeth, and searing our lungs as though we were being chased across the Pleistocene savanna by saber-toothed tigers. Think of the hopes, the dreams, the effort, the brilliance, the pure force of will that, over the eons, has gone into the creation of the Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Bicycle riders would have us throw all this on the ash heap of history.
 ~funny ass quotes by P.J. O'Rourke

   Uno sciocco e il suo denaro son presto separati; English Equivalent: A fool and his money are soon parted
 ~saying about ass by Italian Proverb

   Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith.
 ~quote about Faith by Author Unknown

   You grow up the day you have your first real laugh, at yourself.
 ~quotes on Self by Ethel Barrymore

   Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing.
 ~sayings on Baseball by Warren Spahn

   I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.
 ~quotations on Trees by Willa Cather, 1913

   We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years, and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.
 ~funny ass quotes by George Bernard Shaw

   Learning only from our own experience is like learning the traffic rules by accident.
 ~saying about ass by

   Tennis belongs to the individualistic past - a hero, or at most a pair of friends or lovers, against the world.
 ~quote about Tennis by Jacques Barzun

   Becoming conscious is of course a sacrilege against nature; it is as though you had robbed the unconscious of something.
 ~quotes on Self-Discovery by Carl G. Jung

   It doesn't require any particular bravery to stand on the floor of the Senate and urge our boys in Vietnam to fight harder, and if this war mushrooms into a major conflict and a hundred thousand young Americans are killed, it won't be U.S. Senators who die. It will be American soldiers who are too young to qualify for the Senate.
 ~sayings on War by George McGovern

   Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
 ~quotations on Wisdom by Doug Larson

   Hire character. Train skill.
 ~funny ass quotes by Peter Schutz

   Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, &34;What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? Instead, they demand: How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.
 ~saying about ass by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince, 1943, translated from French

   The real source of almost all our crimes, if the trouble is taken to trace them to a common origin, will be found to be in idleness.
 ~quote about Idleness by Walter Gaston Shotwell

   Most books, like their authors, are born to die; of only a few books can it be said that death hath no dominion over them; they live, and their influence lives forever.
 ~quotes on Books Reading by J. Swartz

   Love is friendship set on fire.
 ~sayings on Famous Saying by Jeremy Taylor

   Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.
 ~quotations on Humankind by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.
 ~funny ass quotes by Helen Rowland

   In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber. So long as it receives a message of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage - so long are you young. When the wires are all down and our heart is covered with the snow of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, are you grown old.
 ~saying about ass by Douglas MacArthur

   You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
 ~quote about Helping by Mahatma Ghandi

   Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
 ~quotes on Determination by

   There is something about the presence of a cat... that seems to take the bite out of being alone.
 ~sayings on Cats by Louis J. Camuti

   Don't wait for people to be kind, show them how.
 ~quotations on Attitude by Unknown

   If the doctor told me I had six minutes to live, I'd type a little faster.
 ~funny ass quotes by Isaac Asimov

   Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.
 ~saying about ass by Thomas Szasz

   If one could make alive again for other people some cobwebbed skein of old dead intrigues and breathe breath and character into dead names and stiff portraits. That is history to me!
 ~quote about History by George Macaulay Trevelyan

   Anita Bryant like Anita hole in the head.
 ~quotes on Homosexuality by Graffiti

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