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ass quotes for your Self help needs

   To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
 ~quote about Anger by William H. Walton

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   What a country calls its vital... interests are not things that help its people live, but things that help it make war. Petroleum is a more likely cause of international conflict than wheat.
 ~quotes on War by Simone Weil, Ecrits historiques et politiques, 1960

   If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.
 ~sayings on Dogs by Karel C(apek

   Never eat more than you can lift.
 ~quotations on Dieting by Miss Piggy

   When Steve and I die, we are going to be buried in the same cemetery, 60-feet 6-inches apart.
 ~funny ass quotes by Tim McCarver, who caught all of Steve Carlton's games, 1977

   If your dreams turn to dust....vacuum
 ~saying about ass by Unknown

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   It's terrifying to see someone inside of whom a vital spring seems to have been broken. It's particularly terrifying to see him in your mirror.
 ~quote about Self-Discovery by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Hope is grief's best music.
 ~quotes on Hope by Author Unknown

   The Grand Canyon is carven deep by the master hand; it is the gulf of silence, widened in the desert; it is all time inscribing the naked rock; it is the book of earth.
 ~sayings on Arizona by Donald Culross Peattie, The Road of a Naturalist, 1941

   Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
 ~quotations on Clothing by Henry David Thoreau, Walden

   Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.
 ~funny ass quotes by The Washington Post

   Our government has become too responsive to trivial or ephemeral concerns, often at the expense of more important concerns or an erosion of our liberty, and it has made policy priorities more dependent on where TV journalists happen to point their cameras.... As a nation we have lost our sense of tragedy, a recognition that bad things happen to good people. A nation that expects the government to prevent churches from burning, to control the price of bread or gasoline, to secure every job, and to find some villain for every dramatic accident, risks an even larger loss of life and liberty.
 ~saying about ass by William A. Niskanen, For a Less Responsive Government, Cato Policy Report, 1996

   If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while
 ~quote about Party Invitations by Joseph Schenck

   The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart.
 ~quotes on Bicycling by Iris Murdoch, The Red and the Green

   Jealousy is the great exaggerator.
 ~sayings on Jealousy by Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Conspiracy of Fiesco, 1783

   Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down
 ~quotations on Party Invitations by Phyllis Diller

   America is just the country that shows how all the written guarantees in the world for freedom are no protection against tyranny and oppression of the worst kind. There the politician has come to be looked upon as the very scum of society.
 ~funny ass quotes by Peter Kroptkin, speech, 1891

   The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself.
 ~saying about ass by Edward Bulwer-Lytton

   The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.
 ~quote about Wisdoms by Ayn Rand

   A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.
 ~quotes on Friendship by Douglas Pagels

   We're all born brave, trusting, and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.
 ~sayings on Trust by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spreadThe sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come near
 ~quotations on Thanksgiving Day by Rebecca Harding Davis

   I think it's bad to talk about one's present work, for it spoils something at the root of the creative act. It discharges the tension.
 ~funny ass quotes by Norman Mailer

   I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it
 ~saying about ass by Mark Twain

   All great work is preparing yourself for the accident to happen.
 ~quote about Opportunities by Sidney Lumet

   Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into.
 ~quotes on Flowers by Henry Beecher, Life Thoughts, 1858

   Without the rain, sunshine wouldnt be so appreciated
 ~sayings on Unknown by Not Sure

   We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
 ~quotations on Peace by William Ewart Gladstone

   We are too civil to books. For a few golden sentences we will turn over and actually read a volume of four or five hundred pages.
 ~funny ass quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
 ~saying about ass by Erma Bombeck

   To teach is to learn twice.
 ~quote about Teachers by Joseph Joubert, Pensées, 1842

   Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
 ~quotes on Self Confidence by Abraham Lincoln

   Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.
 ~sayings on Books Reading by Charles W. Eliot

   Hunger is the best sauce in the world.
 ~quotations on Food by Cervantes

   Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning
 ~funny ass quotes by Frederick Douglass

   Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.
 ~saying about ass by John De Paola

   Every mile is two in winter
 ~quote about Groundhog Day by George Herbert

   A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
 ~quotes on Famous Saying by Lao-Tzu

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