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ass sayings for your Self help needs

   I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
 ~quote about Famous Saying by Groucho Marx
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   Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly American ladies, but these seductions usually consisted of stripping them naked in his apartment, frying a couple of eggs, putting them on the woman's shoulders and, without a word, showing them the door.
 ~quotes on Funny Saying by Luis Bunuel

   Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses.
 ~sayings on Golf by Adlai Stevenson

   If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
 ~quotations on Golf by Bob Hope

   Give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where I can walk undisturbed.
 ~funny ass saying by Walt Whitman

   I am a nutritional overachiever.
 ~saying about ass by Author Unknown
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   When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.
 ~quote about Integrity by Abraham Lincoln

   Do what we can, summer will have its flies.
 ~quotes on Summer by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
 ~sayings on Humor by

   A nickname is the hardest stone that the devil can throw at a man.
 ~quotations on Names by Author unknown, quoted by William Hazlitt

   Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
 ~funny ass saying by Chinese Proverb

   You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her.
 ~saying about ass by Author Unknown

   In the lifetime of one person, we went from figuring out where we came from to figuring out how to get rid of ourselves.
 ~quote about Society by Jack Horner, on the eighty years between Darwin's On the Origin of Species and the nuclear bomb, in

   When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
 ~quotes on Grief by Kahlil Gibran

   A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women.
 ~sayings on Women by Edgar Wallace

   I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.
 ~quotations on Opportunities by Hazel Lee

   I am an invisible man.... I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids - and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.
 ~funny ass saying by Ralph Ellison, The Invisible Man, 1952

   When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes.
 ~saying about ass by Don Drysdale, 1978

   Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.
 ~quote about Tattoos by Billy Elmer

   If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace.
 ~quotes on Patriotism by Hamilton Fish

   I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders
 ~sayings on Adversity by Jewish Proverb

   Art is the triumph over chaos.
 ~quotations on Art by John Cheever

   The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.
 ~funny ass saying by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.
 ~saying about ass by Jacob A. Riis

   It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.
 ~quote about Baseball by Yogi Berra

   Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.
 ~quotes on Golf by Michael Bamberger

   Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion
 ~sayings on Valentine's Day by Author Unknown

   If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
 ~quotations on Sports by Vince Lombardi

   Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. Almost any compromise is better than a lawsuit. All lasting agreements are made by compromise. Nothing made by brute force lasts.
 ~funny ass saying by

   Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions
 ~saying about ass by Earl Gray Stevens

   Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.
 ~quote about Beauty by John Muir

   Things which you do not hope happen more frequently than things which you do hope.
 ~quotes on Hope by Titus Maccius Plautus

   I am my own heaven and hell!
 ~sayings on Self by J.C.F. von Schiller

   Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.
 ~quotations on Luck by Langston Coleman

   The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.
 ~funny ass saying by William Westmoreland

   If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.
 ~saying about ass by Lawrence Housman

   He who neglects learning in his youth loses the past and is dead for the future
 ~quote about Future by Euripides

   Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within the hearing of little children tends towards the formation of character
 ~quotes on Education by Hosea Ballou
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