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ass sayings for your Self help needs

   My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.
 ~quote about Golf by Author Unknown

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   Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
 ~quotes on Simplicity by Leonardo DaVinci

   My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
 ~sayings on Sex by Erica Jong, Playboy Magazine, September 1975

   Train yourself to tolerate others’ opinions. It’s just as hard for them to tolerate yours.
 ~quotations on Relationship by

   Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.
 ~funny ass sayings by Author Unknown

   [T]hat is the triumph of history - truth absolute is not at hand; the original with which to match the copy does not exist.
 ~saying about ass by Jacques Barzun, Clio and the Doctors

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   An acceptable level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
 ~quote about Unemployment by Author Unknown

   When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
 ~quotes on Advice by Henry Wheeler Shaw, a.k.a. Josh Billings

   A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
 ~sayings on Money by Yogi Berra

   There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either.
 ~quotations on Poetry by Robert Graves, 1962 interview on BBC-TV, based on a very similar statement he overheard around 1955

   It is frequently the tragedy of the great artist, as it is of the great scientist, that he frightens the ordinary man.
 ~funny ass sayings by Loren Eiseley, The Night Country, 1971

   My life is my message.
 ~saying about ass by Mahatma Ghandi

   In an incredible perversion of justice, former soldiers who sprayed festeringly poisonous chemicals on Vietnam, and now find today that they themselves have been damaged by them, appeal to the people for sympathy and charity. The effects of the defoliant Agent Orange are discussed at length, but not one single newspaper article or hearing that we are aware of has even mentioned the effects of the people who still live in those regions of Vietnam. It's as outlandish as if Nazis who gassed Jews were now to come forward and whine that the poisons they utilized had finally made them sick. The staggering monstrousness goes unlaughed at and even unnoticed, as in a Kafka novel.
 ~quote about War by Fred Woodworth, The Match, No. 79

   The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm
 ~quotes on Graduation by Fred Dehner

   It is only when the mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen.
 ~sayings on Appearance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I don't know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future
 ~quotations on Self-Determination by Ralph Abernathy

   Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.
 ~funny ass sayings by Samuel McChord Crothers

   What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.
 ~saying about ass by Sigmund Freud, 1933

   We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
 ~quote about Living by Buddha

   It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism.
 ~quotes on Patriotism by J. Horace McFarland

   One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
 ~sayings on Golf by George Archer

   I learned a lot about life from my little league footbal coach. He said, "Stay centered, stay focused, stay aggressive, and never ever quit!"
 ~quotations on Sports by Clint Sprague

   Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with.
 ~funny ass sayings by Thomas Carlyle

   Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.
 ~saying about ass by William Stafford

   Don't cookDon't cleanNo man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculateLie down, you hot bitch."
 ~quote about Women's Greetings by Joan Rivers

   What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures.
 ~quotes on Marriage by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark
 ~sayings on April Fool's Day by Henry Louis Mencken

   No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his own. However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property.
 ~quotations on Perspective by Charles Dudley Warner

   There is no surer method of evading the world than by following Art, and no surer method of linking oneself to it than by Art.
 ~funny ass sayings by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

   Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary.
 ~saying about ass by Albert Einstein

   Is not the most erotic part of the body wherever the clothing affords a glimpse?
 ~quote about Clothing by Roland Barthes

   Life hangs as nothing in the scale against dear Liberty!
 ~quotes on Memorial Day by Lucy Larcom

   Remember: I before E, except in Budweiser.
 ~sayings on Alcohol by Author Unknown

   Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.
 ~quotations on Faith by J.R.R. Tolkien

   One of the best things about paintings is their silence - which prompts reflection and random reverie.
 ~funny ass sayings by Mark Stevens

   Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
 ~saying about ass by

   Concerning football playing, I protest to you it may rather be called a friendly kind of fighting, rather than recreation.
 ~quote about Soccer by Author Unknown

   Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up
 ~quotes on Sweetest Day by Jesse Jackson

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