When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
~quote about Women by Author UnknownMotivational Quotes
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Mathematics may be defined as the economy of counting. There is no problem in the whole of mathematics which cannot be solved by direct counting.
~quotes on Math by Ernst Mach This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
~sayings on Religion by George Carlin, on Saturday Night Live A weed is but an unloved flower.
~quotations on Weeds by Ella Wheeler Wilcox Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.
~funny baby saying shirt by Marianne Williamson, A Woman's Worth Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
~saying about baby shirt by Aldous HuxleyMotivational Quotes
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The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
~quote about Worry by Elbert Hubbard, The Note Book, 1927 How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?
~quotes on Prosperity by Paul Sweeney In a dream you are never eighty.
~sayings on Age by Anne Sexton One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind
~quotations on Thank You. by Malayan Proverb May you live all the days of your life.
~funny baby saying shirt by Irish blessing, also attributed to Jonathan Swift Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold
~saying about baby shirt by Zelda Fitzgerald It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
~quote about Philosophical by James Thurber Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time
~quotes on Christmas by Laura Ingalls Wilder All of us are experts at practicing virtue at a distance.
~sayings on Virtue by Theodore M. Hesburgh [History is] petrified imagination.
~quotations on History by Arthur Baer The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
~funny baby saying shirt by Henry Ward Beecher The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.
~saying about baby shirt by Madame de Staël All I've got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse.
~quote about Golf by Eric Linklater, Poet's Pub, 1929 April fool, nThe March fool with another month added to his folly
~quotes on April Fool's Day by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Half the fun of the travel is the esthetic of lostness.
~sayings on Travel by Ray Bradbury There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.
~quotations on Pregnancy by Irena Chalmers A real friend is someone who would feel loss if you jumped on a train, or in front of one
~funny baby saying shirt by Author Unknown The vices of the rich and great are mistaken for error; and those of the poor and lowly, for crimes.
~saying about baby shirt by Lady Marguerite Blessington Love is what you've been through with somebody.
~quote about Love by James Thurber, quoted in Life magazine, 1960 If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it
~quotes on Adversity by Mary Engelbreit Our body is a machine for living. It is organized for that, it is its nature. Let life go on in it unhindered and let it defend itself, it will do more than if you paralyze it by encumbering it with remedies.
~sayings on Health by Leo Tolstoy Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.
~quotations on Jealousy by Elizabeth O'Connor Theory helps us bear our ignorance of facts.
~funny baby saying shirt by George Santayana, The Sense of Beauty, 1896 We are not accountable for the sins of Adam.
~saying about baby shirt by Robert G. Ingersoll Life moves pretty fastIf you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it
~quote about Party Invitations by From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
~quotes on Curmudgeons by Peter McArthur It takes a while to grasp that not all failures are self-imposed, the result of ignorance, carelessness or inexperience. It takes a while to grasp that a garden isn't a testing ground for character and to stop asking, what did I do wrong? Maybe nothing.
~sayings on Gardens by Eleanor Perényi, Green Thoughts, 1981 No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
~quotations on Attitude by Abraham Lincoln I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.
~funny baby saying shirt by Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate If we don't end war, war will end us.
~saying about baby shirt by H.G. Wells, Things to Come, 1935 If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
~quote about Funny Quotes by Woody Allen If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
~quotes on Carpe Diem by Stephen Levine
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