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birthday sayings for your Self help needs

   How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.
 ~quote about Sleep by Dorothy Parker

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   Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.
 ~quotes on Kindness by Samuel Johnson

   Remember when atmospheric contaminants were romantically called stardust?
 ~sayings on Environment by Lane Olinghouse

   Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
 ~quotations on Cute by Jay Leno

   For years it has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
 ~funny birthday saying by Erma Bombeck, about her wedding ring

   The perfect temperature for tea is two degrees hotter than just right.
 ~saying about birthday by Terri Guillemets

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   If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
 ~quote about Trees by Jack Handey

   When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.
 ~quotes on Advice by Charles Varlet de La Grange, Pensées, 1872

   The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake!
 ~sayings on Medical by Martin H. Fischer

   Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.
 ~quotations on Attitude by Alphonse Karr

   I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.
 ~funny birthday saying by Voltaire

   Why, can you imagine what would happen if we named all the twos Henry or George or Robert or John or lots of other things? You'd have to say Robert plus John equals four, and if the four's name were Albert, things would be hopeless.
 ~saying about birthday by Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

   Scientists, therefore, are responsible for their research, not only intellectually but also morally. This responsibility has become an important issue in many of today's sciences, but especially so in physics, in which the results of quantum mechanics and relativity theory have opened up two very different paths for physicists to pursue. They may lead us - to put it in extreme terms - to the Buddha or to the Bomb, and it is up to each of us to decide which path to take.
 ~quote about Science by Fritjof Capra, The Turning Point, 1982

   They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers.
 ~quotes on Media Journalism by James G. Watt, quoted in Newsweek, 8 March 1982

   The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
 ~sayings on Age by H.L. Mencken

   As the gardener prunes the tree to draw the sap into one or two branches, so must we concentrate on one or two to avoid scattering our talents.
 ~quotations on Self Improvement by

   I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
 ~funny birthday saying by Frank Sinatra

   I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.
 ~saying about birthday by Gene Perret

   The man who has no imagination has no wings.
 ~quote about Attitude by Muhammad Ali

   To ask timidly is to invite refusal. Ask as though you expected to receive.
 ~quotes on Personality by

   A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.
 ~sayings on Gambling by William Bolitho

   What a person believes is not as important as how a person believes
 ~quotations on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Timothy Virkkala

   The universe seems bankrupt as soon as we begin to discuss the characters of individuals.
 ~funny birthday saying by Henry David Thoreau

   We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.
 ~saying about birthday by Author Unknown

   We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
 ~quote about Love by W. Somerset Maugham

   There is as much difference between us and ourselves as between us and others.
 ~quotes on Self by Michel de Montaigne

   The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is
 ~sayings on Women's Greetings by Helen Rowland

   College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.
 ~quotations on College by George Gobel

   The moral flabbiness born of the bitch-goddess SUCCESS. That - with the squalid interpretation put on the word success - is our national disease.
 ~funny birthday saying by William James, 11 September 1906

   Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
 ~saying about birthday by

   Let us permit nature to have her way. She understands her business better than we do.
 ~quote about Nature by Michel de Montaigne

   Since our happiness depends on the character of our thoughts, away forever with all negatives. It requires effort to keep positive, but anything that doesn’t take effort isn’t worth having.
 ~quotes on Happiness by

   Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
 ~sayings on Happiness by Johnny Carson

   I eat everything that nature voluntarily gives: fruits, vegetables, and the products of plants. But I ask you to spare me what animals are forced to surrender: meat, milk, and cheese.
 ~quotations on Vegetarianism by Author Unknown (Thank you, Eric.)

   Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.
 ~funny birthday saying by Samuel Johnson

   Save a tree. Eat a beaver.
 ~saying about birthday by Author Unknown

   Chi Wen Tzu always thought three times before taking action. Twice would have been quite enough.
 ~quote about Thinking by Confucius, Analects

   Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people once a year.
 ~quotes on Guests by Victor Borge

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