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funny quotes for your Self help needs

   It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and justice tell me I ought to do.
 ~quote about Civil Disobedience by Edmund Burke, Second Speech on Conciliation, 1775

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   I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.
 ~quotes on Grandparents by Gene Perret

   I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
 ~sayings on Health by Author Unknown

   If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
 ~quotations on Computers by One of Murphy's Laws of Technology

   Will urban sprawl spread so far that most people lose all touch with nature? Will the day come when the only bird a typical American child ever sees is a canary in a pet shop window? When the only wild animal he knows is a rat - glimpsed on a night drive through some city slum? When the only tree he touches is the cleverly fabricated plastic evergreen that shades his gifts on Christmas morning?
 ~funny cute quote by Frank N. Ikard, North American Wildlife and Natural Resources Conference, Houston, March 1968

   I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
 ~saying about funny by Gandhi

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   The flag of the United States has not been created by rhetorical sentences in declarations of independence and in bills of rightsIt has been created by the experience of a great people, and nothing is written upon it that has not been written by their lif
 ~quote about Flag Day by Woodrow Wilson

   Seagulls... slim yachts of the element.
 ~quotes on Birds by Robinson Jeffers

   Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked.
 ~sayings on Beauty by Ralph Ellison, Battle Royal

   Any fine morning, a power saw can fell a tree that took a thousand years to grow.

 ~quotations on Attitude by Edwin Teale

   We’re never as ridiculous by what we are as by what we pretend to be.
 ~funny cute quote by

   John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him.
 ~saying about funny by Nick Faldo, on John Daly

   Love is like those second-rate hotels where all the luxury is in the lobby.
 ~quote about Love by Paul-Jean Toulet

   Each nation feels superior to other nations. That breeds patriotism - and wars.
 ~quotes on Relationship by Dale Carnegie

   The fact that political ideologies are tangible realities is not a proof of their vitally necessary character. The bubonic plague was an extraordinarily powerful social reality, but no one would have regarded it as vitally necessary.
 ~sayings on Government by Wilhelm Reich, The Mass Psychology of Fascism

   History is a pageant and not a philosophy.
 ~quotations on History by Augustine Birrell, Obiter Dicta: The Muse of History

   Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
 ~funny cute quote by Ambrose Bierce

   Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
 ~saying about funny by Winston Churchill

   The People, though we think of a great entity when we use the word, means nothing more than so many millions of individual men.
 ~quote about Government by James Bryce

   There is no finish line.
 ~quotes on Life by Nike advertisement

   A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it.
 ~sayings on Marriage by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Nature takes away any faculty that is not used.
 ~quotations on Action by William R. Inge

   Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solutionIf you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds
 ~funny cute quote by Norman Vincent Peale

   The most difficult thing that you can do is to watch the person you love love someone else
 ~saying about funny by Unknown

   The art of quotation requires more delicacy in the practice than those conceive who can see nothing more in a quotation than an extract.
 ~quote about Quotations by Benjamin Disraeli

   The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters
 ~quotes on Friends by Thomas Jefferson

   If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people
 ~sayings on Education by Chinese proverb

   One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.
 ~quotations on Hypocrisy by Moliere

   Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.
 ~funny cute quote by Aldous Huxley

   A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.
 ~saying about funny by Karl Kraus

   There is no possible line of conduct which has at some time and place been condemned, and which has not at some other time and place been enjoined as a duty.
 ~quote about Perspective by William Lecky

   Reason means truth and those who are not governed by it take the chance that someday the sunken fact will rip the bottom out of their boat.
 ~quotes on Reason by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

   Fine art is that in which the hand, the head, and the heart of man go together.
 ~sayings on Art by John Ruskin

   Waste No Time, Do It Now!
 ~quotations on Proverbs by

   A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses.
 ~funny cute quote by Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1832

   You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
 ~saying about funny by Albert Camus

   The thoughts of Plato and Machiavelli... don't seem quite enough armor for a world beset with splitting the atoms, urban guerrillas, nineteen varieties of psychotherapists, amplified guitars, napalm, computers, astronauts, and an atmosphere polluted simultaneously with auto exhaust and TV commercials.
 ~quote about Society by John Fischer

   When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
 ~quotes on Funny Quotes by Gracie Allen

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