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dirty quotes for your Self help needs

   Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress.
 ~quote about Marriage by Author Unknown

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   Nothing risqué, nothing gained.
 ~quotes on Sex by Alexander Woollcott

   Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.
 ~sayings on Speaking by Orson Rega Card

   I cannot forget my mother. [S]he is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely.
 ~quotations on Mothers by Renita Weems

   Never set a standar in the love your looking for coz you'll end up eating your words. For love comes with the unlikely person and if you ask God why? He will answer: LOVE JUST MOVES IN A MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!
 ~funny dirty quote by Judith >"'<

   Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?
 ~saying about dirty by Pierre Troubetzkoy

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   I would not exchange my leisure hours for all the wealth in the world.
 ~quote about Leisure by Comte de Mirabeau

   Good habits are hard to acquire but easy to live with.
 ~quotes on Personality by

   The happiest hours of mankind are recorded on the blank pages of history.
 ~sayings on History by Thomas Carlyle, Life of Frederick the Great

   I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.
 ~quotations on Parenting by Author Unknown

   What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight.
 ~funny dirty quote by Joseph Joubert

   Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day.
 ~saying about dirty by Carol Krucoff

   We need an America with the wisdom of experienceBut we must not let America grow old in spirit
 ~quote about Patriotic by Hubert H. Humphrey

   Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.
 ~quotes on Statistics by William W. Watt

   The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
 ~sayings on Technology by Sydney J. Harris

   For every fact there is an infinity of hypotheses.
 ~quotations on Science by Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, 1974

   Hair is vitally personal to children. They weep vigorously when it is cut for the first time; no matter how it grows, bushy, straight or curly, they feel they are being shorn of a part of their personality.
 ~funny dirty quote by Charles Chaplin, My Autobiography, 1964

   A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
 ~saying about dirty by Alexander Pope, in Swift, Miscellanies

   I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
 ~quote about Women by Bella Abzug

   No rage is equal to the rage of a contented right-thinking man when he is confronted in the marketplace by an idea which belongs in the pulpit.
 ~quotes on Religion by Thurman W. Arnold

   A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
 ~sayings on Famous Saying by Paul Valery

   The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely
 ~quotations on Baseball by Ted Williams

   If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
 ~funny dirty quote by Lily Tomlin

   The first and highest law must be the love of man to man. Homo homini Deus est - this is the supreme practical maxim, this is the turning point of the world's History.
 ~saying about dirty by Ludwig Feuerbach, The Essence of Christianity

   For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet.... Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?
 ~quote about God by Rebecca Harding Davis

   The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
 ~quotes on Personality by Buddha

   Women should be obscene and not heard.
 ~sayings on Famous Saying by Groucho Marx

   Courage is a peculiar kind of fear.
 ~quotations on Courage by Charles Kennedy

   To waste, to destroy our natural resources, to skin and exhaust the land instead of using it so as to increase its usefulness, will result in undermining in the days of our children the very prosperity which we ought by right to hand down to them amplified and developed.
 ~funny dirty quote by Theodore Roosevelt, seventh annual message, 3 December 1907

   When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.
 ~saying about dirty by Author Unknown

   America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
 ~quote about America by Bobcat Goldthwaite

   Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
 ~quotes on Age by Author Unknown

   There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
 ~sayings on Memory by Josh Billings

   I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.
 ~quotations on Imagination by Duane Michals, Real Dreams

   If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
 ~funny dirty quote by Voltaire

   It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
 ~saying about dirty by Buddha

   Fields can lie fallow, but we can't; we have less time.
 ~quote about Carpe Diem by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.
 ~quotes on Language by Larry King, about political correctness, How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Go

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