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dirty quotes for your Self help needs

   The study of history is the playground of patriotism.
 ~quote about History by George M. Wrong

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   I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
 ~quotes on Driving by Author Unknown

   Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself.
 ~sayings on Procrastination by Author Unknown

   I listen to feminists and all these radical gals - most of them are failures. They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That's all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they're mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They're sexist. They hate men - that's their problem.
 ~quotations on Feminism by Jerry Falwell

   They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.
 ~funny dirty quote by Arthur Schopenhauer

   A teacher's task is to Poke, Provoke to a Reaction, Confront and Elevate.
 ~saying about dirty by Yogi Bhajan

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   A woman should be an illusion.
 ~quote about Women by Ian Fleming

   Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns.
 ~quotes on Animal Rights by William S. Gilbert

   Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. Your character is unleashed - you won't take anything sitting down.
 ~sayings on Yoga by Terri Guillemets

   If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
 ~quotations on Living by Senegalese Proverb

   The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
 ~funny dirty quote by Slappy White

   Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope
 ~saying about dirty by Author Unknown

   The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them
 ~quote about Election Day by Karl Marx

   The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of a gun.
 ~quotes on Animal Rights by P.G. Wodehouse

   When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there.
 ~sayings on Confidence by Cecil Selig

   I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.
 ~quotations on Telephones by Brent Musburger

   There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
 ~funny dirty quote by Christopher Morley

   The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.
 ~saying about dirty by Leo Aikman

   Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
 ~quote about Election Day by Robert Orben

   Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
 ~quotes on Fear by Marie Curie

   What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
 ~sayings on Men by Erma Bombeck

   Of all our infirmities, the most savage is to despise our being.
 ~quotations on Confidence by Michel de Montaigne

   Past and to come, seems best; things present, worse
 ~funny dirty quote by William Shakespeare, Henry IV

   My religious position: I think that God could do a lot better, and I'm willing to give Him the chance.
 ~saying about dirty by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
 ~quote about Prayer by Mark Twain

   People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.
 ~quotes on Smiles by Lee Mildon

   For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.
 ~sayings on Life by Albert Camus

   Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
 ~quotations on Kindness by James Matthew Barrie

   The secret to friendship is being a good listener
 ~funny dirty quote by Unknown

   Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.
 ~saying about dirty by Gordon B. Hinckley

   My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
 ~quote about Dieting by Henny Youngman

   The old theory was Marry an older man, because they're more mature. But the new theory is: Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
 ~quotes on Men by Rita Rudner

   I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
 ~sayings on Golf by G.K. Chesterton

   A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
 ~quotations on Advice by Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

   The historian has before him a jigsaw puzzle from which many pieces have disappeared. These gaps can be filled only by his imagination.
 ~funny dirty quote by Gaetano Salvemini, Historian and Scientist

   One can write, think and pray exclusively of others; dreams are all egocentric.
 ~saying about dirty by Evelyn Waugh

   It kills you to see them grow upBut I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't
 ~quote about Baby by Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

   Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop
 ~quotes on Labor Day by Ovid

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