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dirty quotes for your Self help needs

   And how should a beautiful, ignorant stream of water know it heads for an early release - out across the desert, running toward the Gulf, below sea level, to murmur its lullaby, and see the Imperial Valley rise out of burning sand with cotton blossoms, wheat, watermelons, roses, how should it know?
 ~quote about Nature by Carl Sandburg, Good Morning America, 1928

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   The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing.
 ~quotes on Taxes by Jean Baptist Colbert, attributed

   There's no thief like a bad movie.
 ~sayings on Cinema by Sam Ewing

   One measure of leadership is the caliber of people who choose to follow you.
 ~quotations on Leadership by Dennis A. Peer

   Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
 ~funny dirty quote by William Wordsworth

   No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he knows.
 ~saying about dirty by J. Robert Oppenheimer

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   I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
 ~quote about Conformity by Wilson Mizner

   Truth is not determined by majority vote
 ~quotes on Election Day by Doug Gwyn

   Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year
 ~sayings on Christmas by P.J. O'Rourke

   Fear is the lengthened shadow of ignorance.
 ~quotations on Fear by Arnold Glasow

   Few great men could pass Personnel.
 ~funny dirty quote by Paul Goodman, Growing Up Absurd: Problems of Youth in the Organized Society, 1956

   With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.
 ~saying about dirty by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   In union there is strength.
 ~quote about Brotherhood Unity by Aesop

   Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
 ~quotes on Smoking by Florence King

   Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there is something wrong with him.
 ~sayings on Driving by Art Buchwald, How Un-American Can You Get?, Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966

   When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
 ~quotations on Sanity by Mark Twain

   If there is a God, he's a great mathematician.
 ~funny dirty quote by Paul Dirac

   It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.
 ~saying about dirty by Mark Twain

   Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
 ~quote about Age by Victor Hugo

   Science is all those things which are confirmed to such a degree that it would be unreasonable to withhold one's provisional consent.
 ~quotes on Science by Stephen Jay Gould

   Never judge a day by its weather. Sunshine is uplifting; rain, nourishing; wind, exhilarating, snow, cleansing; hail, stimulating. Any weather is better than none.
 ~sayings on Living by

   It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.
 ~quotations on Books Reading by Oscar Wilde

   Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration.
 ~funny dirty quote by Lou Erickson

   When freedom from want and freedom from fear are achieved, man's remains will be in rigor mortis.
 ~saying about dirty by Martin H. Fischer

   We are closer to the ants than to butterflies. Very few people can endure much leisure.
 ~quote about Insects by Gerald Brenan

   It's not catastrophes, murders, deaths, diseases, that age and kill us; it's the way people look and laugh, and run up the steps of omnibuses
 ~quotes on Death by Virginia Woolf

   The walls of books around him, dense with the past, formed a kind of insulation against the present world and its disasters.
 ~sayings on Books Reading by Ross MacDonald

   Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness
 ~quotations on Get Well Soon by Ellie Katz

   Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
 ~funny dirty quote by Unknown

   The power of quotation is as dreadful a weapon as any which the human intellect can forge.
 ~saying about dirty by John Jay Chapman

   If man were immortal he could be perfectly sure of seeing the day when everything in which he had trusted should betray his trust, and, in short, of coming eventually to hopeless misery. He would break down, at last, as every good fortune, as every dynasty, as every civilization does. In place of this we have death.
 ~quote about Death by Charles Sanders Peirce

   A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again
 ~quotes on Goodbye by Author Unknown

   Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around.
 ~sayings on Gossip by Frank A. Clark

   Home, the spot of earth supremely blest,A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest.
 ~quotations on Housewarming by Robert Montgomery

   Don't waste time learning the tricks of the trade. Instead, learn the trade.
 ~funny dirty quote by Attributed to both James Charlton and H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?
 ~saying about dirty by Henry David Thoreau

   A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.
 ~quote about Friendship by Frances Ward Weller

   It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference
 ~quotes on Celebrity by Tom Brokaw

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