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dirty quotes for your Self help needs

   We didn't all come over on the same ship, but we're all in the same boat.
 ~quote about Equality Difference by Bernard M. Baruch

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   Red serpents, fiery forms, and yelling hags,Fit company for mad adventurers.
 ~quotes on Halloween by Philip Freneau

   Drawing on my find command of language, I said nothing.
 ~sayings on Speaking by Robert Charles Benchley

   Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
 ~quotations on Reality by Albert Einstein

   When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.
 ~funny dirty quote by Author Unknown

   Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.
 ~saying about dirty by Author Unknown

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   Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another
 ~quote about Labor Day by Anatole France, The Crime of Sylvestre Bonnard

   Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on.
 ~quotes on Compliments by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.
 ~sayings on Writing by Sholem Asch

   I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
 ~quotations on Drugs by Author Unknown

   I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day? I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day? My mom would always say, Every day is Kid's Day. To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
 ~funny dirty quote by Rob Nash

   Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
 ~saying about dirty by Gloria Naylor

   Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or yearEven when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols
 ~quote about New Year by Thomas Mann

   The best thing about getting old is that all those things you couldn't have when you were young you no longer want.
 ~quotes on Age by L.S. McCandless

   Our children more attention pay, to what we do, than what we say. Training by example is easy and fast; by explaining long and difficult.
 ~sayings on Family by

   Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager. You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick.
 ~quotations on Worry by Steve Bull

   Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren't through being children.
 ~funny dirty quote by Cindy Garner

   Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved.
 ~saying about dirty by Christopher Paul Rubero

   After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
 ~quote about Nurses by W.C. Fields

   Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
 ~quotes on Love by Michael Leunig

   Have no fear of robbers or murderers. They are external dangers, petty dangers. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murders. The great dangers are within us. Why worry about what threatens our heads or purses? Let us think instead of what threatens our souls.
 ~sayings on Integrity by Victor Hugo

   Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
 ~quotations on Alcohol by Homer Simpson

   There are no facts, only interpretations.
 ~funny dirty quote by Friedrich Nietzsche

   The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European
 ~saying about dirty by Phil Neville

   If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.
 ~quote about Walking by Raymond Inmon

   A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
 ~quotes on Bores by Bert Leston Taylor, The So-Called Human Race

   After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over.
 ~sayings on Changes by Alfred Edward Perlman, New York Times, 3 July 1958

   Every man is a reformer until reform tramps on his toes.
 ~quotations on Conformity by Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

   I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth - I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn't embrace.
 ~funny dirty quote by Henry James

   It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
 ~saying about dirty by Author Unknown

   Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.
 ~quote about Death by Denis Leary

   It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
 ~quotes on Confidence by Edmund Hillary

   Yet some things you miss and some things you lose by keeping your arm outstretched.
 ~sayings on Wise Words by Author Unknown

   It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
 ~quotations on Perspective by G.K. Chesterton

   Unbeing dead isn't being alive.
 ~funny dirty quote by e.e. cummings

   What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
 ~saying about dirty by Sigmund Freud

   Somewhere in the world there is an epigram for every dilemma.
 ~quote about Quotations by Hendrik Willem van Loon

   The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
 ~quotes on Bores by H.L. Mencken

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