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hilarious quotes for your Self help needs

   Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which will never happen.
 ~quote about Worry by James Russel Lowell
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   Clothes can suggest, persuade, connote, insinuate, or indeed lie, and apply subtle pressure while their wearer is speaking frankly and straightforwardly of other matters.
 ~quotes on Clothing by Anne Hollander

   A metaphor is like a simile.
 ~sayings on Writing by Author Unknown

   Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
 ~quotations on Laughter by Arnold Glasow

   Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air. Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away.
 ~funny hilarious quote by Carl Sandburg, Poetry Considered

   You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one.
 ~saying about hilarious by Carolyn Kenmore
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   Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny.
 ~quote about Luck by Don Sutton

   To act with common sense according to the moment, is the best wisdom I know and the best philosophy is to do one's duties, take the world as it comes submit respectfully to one's lot; bless the goodness that has given us so much happiness with it, whatever it is; and despise affectation
 ~quotes on Common sense by Horace Walpole

   When the designs are chosen with care, tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul.
 ~sayings on Tattoos by Michelle Delio

   No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.
 ~quotations on Death by Euripides

   Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time.
 ~funny hilarious quote by Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

   What is morality in any given time or place? It is what the majority then and there happen to like, and immorality is what they dislike.
 ~saying about hilarious by Alfred North Whitehead, Dialogues, 30 August 1941

   There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs.
 ~quote about Photography by Ansel Adams

   Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
 ~quotes on Debt by Author Unknown

   It is a safe rule to apply that, when a mathematical or philosophical author writes with a misty profundity, he is talking nonsense.
 ~sayings on Language by Alfred North Whitehead

   Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife - what's the answer to that?
 ~quotations on Math by Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

   A book is to me like a hat or coat - a very uncomfortable thing until the newness has been worn off.
 ~funny hilarious quote by Charles B. Fairbanks

   To be seventy years young is sometimes for more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.
 ~saying about hilarious by Oliver Wendell Holmes

   We turn not older with years, but newer every day.
 ~quote about Age by Emily Dickinson

   The artist does not see things as they are, but as he is.
 ~quotes on Art by Alfred Tonnelle

   The most remarkable discovery made by scientists is science itself.
 ~sayings on Science by Gerard Piel

   Be tolerant. Everybody is fighting a tough battle, just like you.
 ~quotations on Friendship by

   Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?
 ~funny hilarious quote by Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch, 1970

   My books are very few, but then the world is before me - a library open to all - from which poverty of purse cannot exclude me - in which the meanest and most paltry volume is sure to furnish something to amuse, if not to instruct and improve.
 ~saying about hilarious by Joseph Howe, 1824

   I often derive a peculiar satisfaction in conversing with the ancient and modern dead, - who yet live and speak excellently in their works. My neighbors think me often alone, - and yet at such times I am in company with more than five hundred mutes - each of whom, at my pleasure, communicates his ideas to me by dumb signs - quite as intelligently as any person living can do by uttering of words.
 ~quote about Books Reading by Laurence Sterne

   Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex, and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate, and sober self-esteem.
 ~quotes on Baseball by Saul Steinberg

   Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.
 ~sayings on Optimism Pessimism by Oscar Wilde

   Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled.
 ~quotations on Sisters by Jane Mersky Leder

   Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?
 ~funny hilarious quote by Rose F. Kennedy

   What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
 ~saying about hilarious by Aristotle

   Our government... teaches the whole people by its example. If the government becomes the lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.
 ~quote about Justice by Justice Louis Dembitz Brandeis

   We are the prisoners of history. Or are we?
 ~quotes on History by Robert Penn Warren, Segregation

   Some things have to be believed to be seen.
 ~sayings on Belief by Ralph Hodgson, The Skylark and Other Poems

   Not using faults does not mean that one does not have them.
 ~quotations on Self-Control by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.
 ~funny hilarious quote by Author Unknown

   If I ever die of a heart attack, I hope it will be from playing my stereo too loud.
 ~saying about hilarious by Anonymous

   Patience is the companion of wisdom.
 ~quote about Patience by St. Augustine

   Thrift was never more necessary in the world's history than it is today.
 ~quotes on Thrift by Francis H. Sisson
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