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humorous quotes for your Self help needs

   A law is unjust if it is inflicted on a minority that, as a result of being denied the right to vote, had no part in enacting or devising the lawWho can say that the legislature of Alabama which set up the state's segregation laws was democratically elect
 ~quote about Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Martin Luther King, Jr., "Letter from Birmingham Jail," Why We Can't Wait, 1963

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   It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours.
 ~quotes on Driving by Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25 February 1990

   There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.
 ~sayings on Very True by Bat Masterson

   It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.
 ~quotations on Hair by Raymond Chandler

   It's not the bullet with my name on it that worries me. It's the one that says To whom it may concern.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Anonymous Belfast resident, quoted in London Guardian, 1991

   A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys.
 ~saying about humorous by Barbara Holland

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   Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
 ~quote about Golf by Robin Williams, 1986

   His clothes fit him so ill, and constrain him so much, that he seems rather their prisoner than their proprietor.
 ~quotes on Clothing by Philip Dormer Stanhope

   Gentlemen prefer blondes... but gentlemen marry brunettes.
 ~sayings on Hair by Anita Loos

   It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.
 ~quotations on Mothers by From the television show The Golden Girls

   Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Irvin S. Cobb

   Books - the best antidote against the marsh-gas of boredom and vacuity.
 ~saying about humorous by George Steiner

   The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.
 ~quote about Imagination by Albert Einstein

   Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.
 ~quotes on Civilization by Ogden Nash

   My body is a bulletin board, transmitting my condition.
 ~sayings on Body by Terri Guillemets, Dream Quotes: The Imprisoned Writer Speaks at Night

   A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.
 ~quotations on Happiness by Author Unknown

   Her kisses left something to be desired... the rest of her.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Author Unknown

   The answer, maybe, is going out & doing rather than waiting. If you wait, life will probably pass you by. But if you go out & do the things you want to, take the risks you fear, you may just find that everything slots into place.
 ~saying about humorous by Rob E. Geraghty

   A grandma's name is little less in love than is the doting title of a mother.
 ~quote about Grandparents by William Shakespeare

   A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
 ~quotes on Creativity by Abraham H. Maslow

   Cheerleaders are angels - we're the only humans who can fly.
 ~sayings on Cheerleading by Author Unknown

   A sensible man will remember that the eyes may be confused in two ways - by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize that the same thing happens to the soul.
 ~quotations on Light by Plato

   Lenin could listen so intently that he exhausted the speaker.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Isaiah Berlin

   The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
 ~saying about humorous by Charles Luckman

   Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices - just recognize them.
 ~quote about Prejudice by Edward Roscoe Murrow, 31 December 1955

   It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up.
 ~quotes on Marriage by Harry Emerson Fosdick

   Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
 ~sayings on Patience by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
 ~quotations on Media Journalism by Ben Hecht

   Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.
 ~funny humorous quotes by St. Augustine

   Everyone is the age of their heart.
 ~saying about humorous by Guatemalan Proverb

   Love's greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred.
 ~quote about Love by Barbara De Angelis

   A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
 ~quotes on Humorous by Author Unknown

   Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
 ~sayings on Media Journalism by Thomas Jefferson, letter to Nathaniel Macon

   In jealousy there is more of self-love than love
 ~quotations on Love Quotes by Francois De La Rochefoucauld

   Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
 ~funny humorous quotes by Author Unknown

   The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
 ~saying about humorous by Alfred North Whitehead

   The right wife drops not from the sky; she must be sought by studied eye.
 ~quote about Relationship by

   A dinner invitation, once accepted, is a sacred obligation. If you die before the dinner takes place, your executor must attend.
 ~quotes on Guests by Ward McAllister

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