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funny sayings for your Self help needs

   Freedom of the press in Britain is freedom to print such of the proprietor's prejudices as the advertiser's won't object to.
 ~quote about Media Journalism by Helen Swaffer

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   Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat
 ~quotes on Valentine's Day by Ben Hecht

   The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.
 ~sayings on Past by Lesley P. Hartley, The Go-Between, 1953

   He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enough of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind.
 ~quotations on Curmudgeons by Willa Cather

   Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame.
 ~funny motivational saying by Henry David Thoreau

   I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
 ~saying about funny by Gerald Ford

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   Dress it as we may, feather it, daub it with gold, huzza it, and sing swaggering songs about it, what is war, nine times out of ten, but murder in uniform?
 ~quote about War by Douglas Jerrold

   I believe that one of the great problems for us as individuals is the depression and the tension resulting from existence in a world which is increasingly less pleasing to the eye.
 ~quotes on Society by Lady Bird Johnson

   If your baby is beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time, you're the grandma.
 ~sayings on Grandparents by Teresa Bloomingdale

   Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.
 ~quotations on Caffeine by Jonathan Swift

   Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus.
 ~funny motivational saying by Susan Longacre

   When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
 ~saying about funny by Sacha Guitry, Elles et toi, 1948

   Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.
 ~quote about Money by Norman Vincent Peale

   If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven't done much today.
 ~quotes on Living by Author Unknown

   Untold suffering seldom is.
 ~sayings on Complaining by Franklin P. Jones

   One does not have to sleep with, or even touch, someone who has paid for your meal. All those obligations are hereby rendered null and void, and any man who doesn't think so needs a quick jab in the kidney.
 ~quotations on Feminism by Cynthia Heimel, Sex Tips for Girls, 1983

   Love makes time pass; time makes love pass.
 ~funny motivational saying by French Proverb

   Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.
 ~saying about funny by S. Leonard Rubinstein, Writing: A Habit of Mind

   Those whose conduct gives room for talk are always the first to attack their neighbors.
 ~quote about Hypocrisy by Jean Baptiste Molière, Tartuffe

   Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
 ~quotes on Sleep by Author Unknown

   Winners never quit and quitters never win
 ~sayings on Sports by Unkown

   Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you
 ~quotations on Election Day by Author Unknown

   History supplies little beyond a list of those who have accommodated themselves with the property of others.
 ~funny motivational saying by Voltaire, Philosophical Dictionary

   We need not destroy the past. It is gone.
 ~saying about funny by John Cage

   Only a few things are really important.
 ~quote about Life by Marie Dressler

   I recoil with horror at the ferociousness of man. Will nations never devise a more rational umpire of differences than force? Are there no means of coercing injustice more gratifying to our nature than a waste of the blood of thousands and of the labor of millions of our fellow creatures?
 ~quotes on War by Thomas Jefferson

   Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor
 ~sayings on Election Day by James Russell Lowell

   If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
 ~quotations on Adversity by Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.
 ~funny motivational saying by William B. Yeats

   The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour.
 ~saying about funny by Japanese Proverb

   I think that if ever a mortal heard the voice of God it would be in a garden at the cool of the day.
 ~quote about Gardens by F. Frankfort Moore, A Garden of Peace

   Do not plan for ventures before finishing what's at hand.
 ~quotes on Responsibility by Euripides

   Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material.
 ~sayings on Family by F. Scott Fitzgerald

   It's a good thing I stayed in Cincinnati for four years -- It took me that long to learn how to spell it
 ~quotations on Baseball by Rocky Bridges

   Don't park in the spaces marked, Reserved for Umpires.
 ~funny motivational saying by John McSherry

   Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the one you miss.
 ~saying about funny by Author Unknown

   The only thing that has to be finished by next Tuesday is next Monday.
 ~quote about Goals by Jennifer Yane

   The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four. Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye.
 ~quotes on Perfection by Winston Churchill

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