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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   Perfumes are the feelings of flowers.
 ~quote about Flowers by Heinrich Heine, The Hartz Journey

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   The surest way to be alone is to get married.
 ~quotes on Marriage by Gloria Steinem

   Don't waste time learning the "tricks of the trade." Instead, learn the trade
 ~sayings on Graduation by Attributed to both James Charlton and H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   I'm not a cheerleader. I'm an athletic supporter.
 ~quotations on Cheerleading by Author Unknown

   I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.
 ~funny quote sarcastic by W. Somerset Maugham

   Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?
 ~saying about sarcastic by Author Unknown

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   Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills.
 ~quote about Money by Clifford Odets

   Study a lifetime and you see different colors from the same jewel. The same questions, asked again, being you just the answers you need just the minute you need them.
 ~quotes on Jewelry by Richard Bach

   The friendship that can cease has never been real
 ~sayings on Friends by Saint Jerome

   When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch.
 ~quotations on Carpe Diem by Author unknown, from a television commercial

   The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off
 ~funny quote sarcastic by Abe Lemons

   Science does not know its debt to imagination.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
 ~quote about Politics by Robert Byrne

   The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
 ~quotes on Humorous by Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

   I am grateful for the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and floors that need waxing because it means I have a home
 ~sayings on Housewarming by Author Unknown

   You are not obliged to put on evening clothes to meet God.
 ~quotations on God by Austin O'Malley

   A committee is an animal with four back legs.
 ~funny quote sarcastic by John le Carré, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

   Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born
 ~saying about sarcastic by Dale E. Turner

   If my resolution to be a great man was half so strong as it is to despise the shame of being a little one...
 ~quote about Attitude by William Cowper

   Minor vices lead to major ones, but minor virtues stay put.
 ~quotes on Vices by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.
 ~sayings on Love by Author Unknown

   If a healthy minded person takes an interest in science, he gets busy with his mathematics and haunts the laboratory.
 ~quotations on Math by W.S. Franklin

   When you no longer know what headache, heartache, or stomachache means without cistern punctures, electrocardiograms and six x-ray plates, you are slipping.
 ~funny quote sarcastic by Martin H. Fischer

   Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Ruth E. Renkel

   To give vent now and then to his feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a man's heart.
 ~quote about Chakras by Francesco Guicciardini

   If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.
 ~quotes on Risk by Julia Sorel (Rosalyn Drexler), See How She Runs, 1978

   The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones.
 ~sayings on Mothers by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   It is in moments of illness that we are compelled to recognize that we live not alone but chained to a creature of a different kingdom, whole worlds apart, who has no knowledge of us and by whom it is impossible to make ourselves understood: our body.
 ~quotations on Body by Marcel Proust

   Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.
 ~funny quote sarcastic by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Journals, 1843

   Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Polish Proverb

   A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
 ~quote about Business by Howard Scott

   In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirini-us was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn
 ~quotes on Birth by Luke John

   It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
 ~sayings on Quotations by Franklin P. Jones

   All of us encounter, at least once in our life, some individual who utters words that make us think forever. There are men whose phrases are oracles; who can condense in one sentence the secrets of life; who blurt out an aphorism that forms a character, or illustrates an existence.
 ~quotations on Quotations by Benjamin Disraeli

   A happy childhood can't be cured. Mine'll hang around my neck like a rainbow, that's all, instead of a noose.
 ~funny quote sarcastic by Hortense Calisher, Queenie, 1971

   Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Woody Allen

   Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.
 ~quote about Perseverance by Christopher Morley

   Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost
 ~quotes on Freedom by Kaleel Jamison

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