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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alice Walker
      I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : e. e. cummings
      I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there
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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Jessie Jackson
      A frustrated chicken should not vote for Colonel Sanders.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      So little time and so little to do.

Type: Thanksgiving Day   Funny Sayings By: John Taylor
      And though I ebb in worth, I'll flow in thanks

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain
      I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Type: Love Quotes   Funny Sayings By: William Shakespeare
      Love sought is good, but given unsought is better

Type: Dreams   Funny Sayings By: 
      One thought might convert a stumbling block into a stepping stone.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      Our thoughts can help us more than doctors and harm us more than brickbats.

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Wilde
      One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

Type: Entertainment   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly

Type: Car   Funny Sayings By: Yiddish Curse
      You should have ten penthouses in ten Park Avenue buildings and in each one you should have a gorgeous blonde waiting to do your every wish and in front of each of these ten buildings you should have a Rolls Royce with a chauffeur and every morning you should get into each car and your chauffeur should drive you to a different doctor and not one doctor should know what's wrong with you

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion

Type: Democracy   Funny Sayings By: Abraham Lincoln
      As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master This expresses my idea of democracy

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun

Type: Mankind   Funny Sayings By: Claudian
      What boundary ever set limits to the service of mankind

Type: Growth   Funny Sayings By: 
      Well-founded discontent is the springboard of all progress – and civilization.
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