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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown
      Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Russian Proverb
      Better bread with water than cake with trouble

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Robert Fulghum
      If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problemEverything else is inconvenience

Type: Financial   Funny Sayings By: 
      Thrift built not only fortunes, but also men. One of the best character builders is saving. Be just before you are generous.

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Harold Geneen
      In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experienceTake the experience first; the cash will come later

Type: Housewarming   Funny Sayings By: Charles Dudley Warner
      No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his ownHowever small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Dick Advocaat
      We can buy players for £2m, but it's only when you buy a player for £6m that you can guarantee that they will bring something to the team every game.

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Rose Franken
      Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly

Type: Boredom   Funny Sayings By: Nido Qubein
      People can be unreliable and disloyal; possessions can lose their value; jobs that once stimulated you can become boring. But principles remain steady through it all

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: 
      Anyone can carry his burden for one day. Anyone can be pleasant, courteous, and friendly for one day. And that continued is all there is to life.

Type: Success   Funny Sayings By: 
      Liquor can destroy success faster than genius can rebuild it.

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something

Type: Grandparents Day   Funny Sayings By: Alex Haley
      Nobody can do for little children what grandparents doGrandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children

Type: Dreams   Funny Sayings By: Walt Disney
      If you can dream it, you can do it

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Frank A. Clark
      If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere
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