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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..
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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Type: Independence Day   Funny Sayings By: Daniel Webster
      May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this our own country!

Type: Housewarming   Funny Sayings By: May Sarton
      A house that does not have one worn, comfy chair in it is soulless

Type: Weddings   Funny Sayings By: Gene Perret
      We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the worldIt's called love

Type: Flag Day   Funny Sayings By: George Washington, attributed
      We take the stars from heaven, the red from our mother country, separating it by white stripes, thus showing that we have separated from her, and the white stripes shall go down to posterity, representing our liberty

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: George Santayana
      He gave the world another world

Type: April Fool's Day   Funny Sayings By: George Bernard Shaw
      Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: Jean Kerr
      Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: John J. Plomp
      The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: George Bernard Shaw
      You see things and say “why?” But I dream things that never were and say “why not”?

Type: Growth   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      What we think, we become.

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.

Type: Birthdays   Funny Sayings By: Menachem Mendel Schneerson
      Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again

Type: Goals   Funny Sayings By: 
      To live to 100, have something to live for. Living for something is part of living long.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      Resolve to observe or learn something new every day. It’ll keep you mentally sharp and youthful.
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