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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Tom Peters
      Almost all quality improvement comes via simplification of design, manufacturing,, layout, processes, and procedures

Type: Celebrity   Funny Sayings By: Sharon Stone
      I bake all the time, but I don't like to eat the cookies when they're done. I just like the dough

Type: Labor Day   Funny Sayings By: Thomas Jefferson
      A mind always employed is always happyThis is the true secret, the grand recipe, for felicity

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Martin Luther King, Jr., March 1956
      I will always remember my delight when Mrs. Georgia Gilmore - an unlettered woman of unusual intelligence - told how an operator demanded that she get off the bus after paying her fare and board it again by the back door, and then drove away before she co

Type: Education   Funny Sayings By: Edith Hamilton
      It has always seemed strange to me that in our endless discussions about education so little stress is laid on the pleasure of becoming an educated person, the enormous interest it adds to life. To be able to be caught up into the world of thought--that is to be educated

Type: Maturing Altruistically   Funny Sayings By: Pythagoras
      Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be. Custom will soon render it easy and agreeable.

Type: Birthday Sayings   Funny Sayings By: Gertrude Stein
      We are always the same age inside

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: Charles Dickens
      I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and

Type: Funny Saying   Funny Sayings By: Hilliare Belloc
      When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

Type: Anniversaries   Funny Sayings By: H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916
      Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him

Type: Personality   Funny Sayings By: 
      A kind and courteous “no” hurts less than a rude “yes”.

Type: Missing You   Funny Sayings By: George Lansdowne
      To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: George Lansdowne
      To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment

Type: Funny Saying   Funny Sayings By: Steven Wright.
      What's another word for thesaurus?

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