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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

Type: Grandparents Day   Funny Sayings By: Italian Proverb
      If nothing is going well, call your grandmother

Type: Success   Funny Sayings By: Nisandeh Neta
      Everything you could have been, all the accolades you could have won and all the achievements that have been nagging at your mind until now, didnít happen for one reason only. You procrastinated.

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: Malcolm Forbes
      When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad that they have to get better.

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Angelina Jolie
      If I think more about death than some other people, it is probably because I love life more than they do

Type: New Year   Funny Sayings By: Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary
      I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midn

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Art Buchwald
      I worship the quicksand he walks in.

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Edward Everett
      With this humble instrumentality did it please Providence to prepare the theatre for those events by which a new dispensation of liberty was to be communicated to man

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: From a song
      They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and no moon above

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Type: Books   Funny Sayings By: Marni Jackson
      Motherhood is like Albania - you can't trust the descriptions in the books, you have to go there

Type: Fathers Day   Funny Sayings By: Bill Cosby
      Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope

Type: Children   Funny Sayings By: W. H. Auden
      Only those in the last stage of disease could believe that children are true judges of character

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Robert F. Kennedy
      Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly

Type: Motivation   Funny Sayings By: Mary Manin Morrissey author
      Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?

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