Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Carolyn Jesus is like Sugar..
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : George Carlin Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Type: Dreams Funny Sayings By: Antoine De Saint A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral
Type: Funny Saying Funny Sayings By: dad better pissed off than pissed on
Type: Columbus Day Funny Sayings By: Margot Asquith What a pity, when Christopher Columbus discovered America, that he ever mentioned it
Type: Responsibility Funny Sayings By: Euripides Do not plan for ventures before finishing what's at hand.
Type: Adversity Funny Sayings By: Lucy Larcom Like a plant that starts up in showers and sunshine and does not know which has best helped it to grow, it is difficult to say whether the hard things or the pleasant things did me the most good
Type: Funny Quotes Funny Sayings By: Woody Allen On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Type: Business Funny Sayings By: Unknown It's a poor workman who blames his tools
Type: Motivation Funny Sayings By: C. Gene Wilkes People prefer to follow those who help them, not those who intimidate them
Type: Growth Funny Sayings By: Abraham Lincoln I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
Type: Missing You Funny Sayings By: Anna Brownell Jameson As the presence of those we love is as a double life, so absence, in its anxious longing and sense of vacancy, is as a foretaste of death
Type: Goodbye Funny Sayings By: Anna Brownell Jameson As the presence of those we love is as a double life, so absence, in its anxious longing and sense of vacancy, is as a foretaste of death
Type: Friendship Funny Sayings By: We can pull, but not push, a string, a man, a child, a customer, a friend.
Type: Funny Quotes Funny Sayings By: Henny Youngman When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Type: Living Funny Sayings By: Albert Camus Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.