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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alice Walker
      I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.
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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : e. e. cummings
      I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Jessie Jackson
      A frustrated chicken should not vote for Colonel Sanders.

Type: Health   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Type: Birthdays   Funny Sayings By: Lucille Ball
      The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      The secret to friendship is being a good listener

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: Theodor Seuss Geisel, attributed
      Don't cry because it's overSmile because it happened

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Violeta Parra
      Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Ameringer
      Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Richard Armour
      Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: Alexander Bain
      Instinct is untaught ability.

Type: Sweetest Day   Funny Sayings By: William Penn
      I expect to pass through life but onceIf therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Mahatma Gandhi
      Abstract truth has no value unless it incarnates in human beings who represent it, by proving their readiness to die for it.

Type: Sports Volleyball   Funny Sayings By: Misty May
      We practice every day, either doing team stuff or working out as an individual. In the offseason we work out with weights, just trying to get stronger

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: 
      Instruction ends in the schoolroom, where real education starts.

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: T.S. Eliot
      An election is comingUniversal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry

Type: Football   Funny Sayings By: Alan Shearer
      One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best
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