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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: 
      The press box at Wrigley Field in Chicago is an extended narrow shed, two rows deep, that is precariously bolted to the iron rafters just underneath the park's second deck. To gain access, one must climb a steeply angled ramp and clamber down a little starboard companionway, guarded at its foot by a uniformed minion and then proceed giddily along a catwalk that hangs directly above the tiered, circling rows of seats and spectators behind home plate

Type: Common sense   Funny Sayings By: Beatrice Lillie
      Happiness for the average person may be said to flow largely from common sense -- adapting one-self to circumstances -- and a sense of humor

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: 
      Happiness has little to do with what we have; everything with what we think.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Marcel Proust, The Past Recaptured, Remembrance of Things Past
      Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: 
      Happiness is easy – dwell on things that make you glad; expel all thoughts that make you sad.

Type: Get Well Soon   Funny Sayings By: Johnny Carson
      Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill

Type: Proverbs   Funny Sayings By: Swedish Proverb
      Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more & all good things are yours.

Type: Weddings   Funny Sayings By: Mignon McLaughlin
      A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person

Type: Anniversaries   Funny Sayings By: Mignon McLaughlin
      A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: W.H. Auden
      A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep

Type: Compassion   Funny Sayings By: William Wordsworth
      That best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: 
      Your best protection from your enemies is to make them your friends.

Type: Books   Funny Sayings By: E. M. Forster
      I suggest that the only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a little further down our particular path than we have gone ourselves

Type: Labor Day   Funny Sayings By: Ovid
      Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop
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