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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Lopez
      The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Tommy Cooper
      I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I can resist anything but temptation.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson
      For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Daniel J. Boorstin
      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dick Cavett
      If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

Type: Drinking   Funny Sayings By: Winston Churchill
      The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it

Type: Self Confidence   Funny Sayings By: Barbara De Angelis
      No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.

Type: Proverbs   Funny Sayings By: 
      The outer world of circumstance shapes itself to the inner world of thought.

Type: Self Confidence   Funny Sayings By: 
      In matters of taste, go with the flock. In matters of principles, stand like a rock.

Type: Funny Saying   Funny Sayings By: Ben Shahn
      An amateur is someone who supports himself with outside jobs which enable him to paint. A professional is someone whose wife works to enable him to paint.

Type: Maturing Altruistically   Funny Sayings By: Thomas H. Huxley
      Thoughtfulness for others, generosity, modesty and self-respect are the qualities which make a real gentleman or lady.

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Mahatma Gandhi
      Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will

Type: Birth   Funny Sayings By: Felicia D. Hemas
      Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Sir Walter Scott
      Is death the last sleep? No--it is the last and final awakening

Type: Sympathy   Funny Sayings By: John Henry Newman
      And with the morn those angel faces smile, Which I have loved long since and lost awhile.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: Arthur James Balfour
      Ask with urgency and passion.

Type: Thanksgiving Day   Funny Sayings By: Henry Ward Beecher
      The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley's Philosophy, 1900
      A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large

Type: April Fool's Day   Funny Sayings By: Max Eastman
      It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor

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