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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Type: Housewarming   Funny Sayings By: Charles Dudley Warner
      No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his ownHowever small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Dick Advocaat
      We can buy players for 2m, but it's only when you buy a player for 6m that you can guarantee that they will bring something to the team every game.

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Rose Franken
      Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly

Type: Boredom   Funny Sayings By: Nido Qubein
      People can be unreliable and disloyal; possessions can lose their value; jobs that once stimulated you can become boring. But principles remain steady through it all

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: 
      Anyone can carry his burden for one day. Anyone can be pleasant, courteous, and friendly for one day. And that continued is all there is to life.

Type: Success   Funny Sayings By: 
      Liquor can destroy success faster than genius can rebuild it.

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something

Type: Grandparents Day   Funny Sayings By: Alex Haley
      Nobody can do for little children what grandparents doGrandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children

Type: Dreams   Funny Sayings By: Walt Disney
      If you can dream it, you can do it

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Frank A. Clark
      If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere

Type: Cute   Funny Sayings By: Erma Bombeck
      If you can laugh at it, you can live with it

Type: Cool   Funny Sayings By: Sara Teasdale
      When I can look Life in the eyes, Grown calm and very coldly wise, Life will have given me the Truth, And taken in exchange - my youth

Type: Comedy   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Anna Eleanor Roosevelt
      No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

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