Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Type: Motivation Funny Sayings By: John Wooden Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability
Type: Funny Quotes Funny Sayings By: Woody Allen It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Type: Baseball Funny Sayings By: Lou Brock He seemed to have an obligation to hit
Type: Baseball Funny Sayings By: Gen. Omar Bradley Every member of our baseball team at West Point became a general: this proves the value of team sports
Type: Humor Funny Sayings By: Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Type: Happiness Funny Sayings By: Few women and fewer men, have enough character and patience to be happy when idle. Happiness is activity. Nature puts her curse on idleness. An idle brain is the devilís playground.
Type: Mothers Day Funny Sayings By: Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895 All women become like their mothersThat is their tragedyNo man doesThat's his
Type: Career Funny Sayings By: Smart men put up with small annoyances, to gain larger rewards later.
Type: Graduation Funny Sayings By: Paul Freund At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboardsMy hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros
Type: Mothers Day Funny Sayings By: Rajneesh The moment a child is born, the mother is also bornShe never existed beforeThe woman existed, but the mother, neverA mother is something absolutely new
Type: Living Funny Sayings By: Sarah N The moment a man knows he's going to die, he feels afraid yet their's a feeling of peace inside of him. But when he knows that he's living forever, he's excited for a day, but terrified, annoyed, bored & alone forever!!!
Type: Retirement Funny Sayings By: George Burns Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculousThen I was sixty-five I still had pimples
Type: Bureaucracy Funny Sayings By: George Van Valkenburg Government employees (Bureaucrats) like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems
Type: Retirement Funny Sayings By: Jonathan Clements Retirement is like a long vacation in Las VegasThe goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money