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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Samuel Johnson
      To cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life

Type: Career   Funny Sayings By: Doug Firebaugh
      Productivity is determined not by work...but by EFFECTIVE actions disguised as work.

Type: Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Levant
      So little time and so little to do.

Type: Unity   Funny Sayings By: Mahatma Gandhi
      Unity to be real must stand the severest strain without breaking

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Charles M Schwab
      A man to carry on a successful business must have imagination. He must see things as in a vision, a dream of the whole thing

Type: Bureaucracy   Funny Sayings By: Dilbert
      I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology

Type: Career   Funny Sayings By: Robert Kiyosaki
      We go to school to learn to work hard for money. I write books and create products that teach people how to have money work hard for them.

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Jennifer Yane
      I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once

Type: Emotions   Funny Sayings By: Alice Walker
      I try to teach my heart not to want things it can't have.

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Dick Fosbury
      I was told over and over again that I would never be successful, that I was not going to be competitive and the technique was simply not going to work. All I could do was shrug and say 'We'll just have to see

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Luiz Felipe Scolari
      I see too many people who have won nothing spending their life talking about my job. I am not going to talk about the jobs of others.

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch, 1970
      Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Karel Bruckner
      They stopped us playing, That was their objective
and they achieved it.

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Orson Welles
      My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for fourUnless there are three other people

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