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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Frank Zappa
      Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I am no more humble than my talents require.
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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Alfred Hitchcock
      The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Mark Twain
      Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Gordon B. Hinckley
      Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Bucket
      A woman's place is in the kitchen, telling her man how she likes her steak.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dave Barry
      You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
      Yes, one must suffer, even in vain, so as not to have lived in vain

Type: Celebrity   Funny Sayings By: Madonna
      Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I'd rather read a book

Type: Money   Funny Sayings By: Beverly Johnson
      Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery

Type: Funny Saying   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain
      Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
      Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself

Type: Family   Funny Sayings By: 
      Only one unmarried man ever became president of the US. Why? Few single men have goals.

Type: Get Well Soon   Funny Sayings By: Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor, 1977
      Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sickAlthough we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of t

Type: Unknown   Funny Sayings By: 
      The sane world will always be vunerable to madmen, because we cannot go where they go to conceive of such things.

Type: Get Well Soon   Funny Sayings By: Bill Walton
      I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Clint Sprague
      I learned a lot about life from my little league footbal coach. He said, "Stay centered, stay focused, stay aggressive, and never ever quit!"

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Joaquin Miller
      He gained a world; he gave that world Its grandest lesson: "On! sail on!"

Type: Movie   Funny Sayings By: Billy Crystal
      Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place" Billy Crystal(Mitch)in City Slickers(1991)

Type: Maturing Altruistically   Funny Sayings By: Barbara De Angelis
      Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      Never neglect the power of heroic words to generate strength and power. Daily repeat words of power, strength, courage, self-confidence, success. Words set the tone of mind. They dictate our thoughts, our acts, our attitudes, and our habits – lives and fortunes.
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