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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Lopez
      The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Tommy Cooper
      I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I can resist anything but temptation.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson
      For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Daniel J. Boorstin
      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

Type: Dance   Funny Sayings By: Thomas Hardy
      To dance with a man is to concentrate a twelvemonth's regulation fire upon him in the fragment of an hour. To pass to courtship without acquaintance, to pass to marriage without courtship, is a skipping of terms reserved for those alone who tread this royal road

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: E.B. White, "The Distant Music of the Hounds," The Second Tree from the Corner, 1954
      To perceive Christmas through its wrapping becomes more difficult with every year

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Garry Trudeau
      Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Lloyd-Jones
      Death certificates in the US over represent coronary heart disease as a cause of death by 24.3 per cent

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Wernher Von Braun
      Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Type: Family   Funny Sayings By: me
      The rich man is poor for he has no friends

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Isaac Asimov
      It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be...This, in turn, means that our statesmen, our businessmen, our everyman must take on a science fictional way of thinking

Type: Motivation   Funny Sayings By: Ken Gilbert
      The mechanics of industry is easy. The real engine is the people : Their motivation and direction

Type: Proverbs   Funny Sayings By: 
      Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.

Type: Career   Funny Sayings By: 
      The richest reward from our work is not what we get out of it in wages, but what we become through it.

Type: Baby   Funny Sayings By: Henry David Thoreau
      Every child begins the world again....

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: 
      Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Your schooling may be over, but remember that your education still continues

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: W.T. Ellis
      It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air
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