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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown
      Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!
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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Holly Near
      Why do we kill people who are killing people to show that killing people is wrong

Type: Luck   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And some people still wonder why some are afraid when they are told they are loved

Type: Cool   Funny Sayings By: Langston Hughes
      Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you

Type: Earth Day   Funny Sayings By: John Muir, 1913, in L.M. Wolfe, ed., John Muir, John of the Mountains: The Unpublished Journals of
      I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Stephen Levine
      If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Type: I'm Sorry   Funny Sayings By: Stephen Levine
      If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Seymour Cray
      If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

Type: Friends   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      If you were somebody else, would you want to be friends with you?

Type: Baby   Funny Sayings By: Dave Barry
      If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland

Type: Movie   Funny Sayings By: Jack Sparrow
      If you were waiting for the oppurtune moment ... that was it

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: H. L. Hunt
      Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.

Type: Comedy   Funny Sayings By: Steven Wright
      OK, so what's the speed of dark

Type: Teacher Appreciation   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacherThat is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number
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