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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Type: Goals   Funny Sayings By: George L. Morrisey
      Developing the plan is actually laying out the sequence of events that have to occur for you to achieve your goal.

Type: Retirement   Funny Sayings By: Harry Vardon
      Don't play too much golfTwo rounds a day are plenty

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: Jim Bouton
      A ballplayer spends a good piece of his life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time

Type: Entertainment   Funny Sayings By: Robert Townsend
      If people are coming to work excited . . . if they're making mistakes freely and fearlessly . . . if they're having fun . . . if they're concentrating doing things, rather than preparing reports and going to meetings - then somewhere you have leaders

Type: Retirement   Funny Sayings By: Doug Larson
      If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Lamartine
      He completed the universe, he achieved the physical unity of the globe

Type: Financial   Funny Sayings By: 
      All employers prefer savers. They are more steady, more honest, more reliable, less distracted.

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: Alan Kay
      A new point of view is worth 80 IQ points

Type: Memorial Day   Funny Sayings By: John Randolph Thompason
      Dead upon the field of glory,, Hero fit for song and story.

Type: Personality   Funny Sayings By: me
      Im so poor i cant't even pay attention.

Type: Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain
      The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Type: Veterans Day   Funny Sayings By: Maya Angelou
      How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!

Type: Memorial Day   Funny Sayings By: Maya Angelou
      How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: Charles Du Bos
      The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.

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