Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Lopez The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Tommy Cooper I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde I can resist anything but temptation.
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Type: Commitment Ceremonies Funny Sayings By: From the movie When Harry Met Sally When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
Type: Retirement Funny Sayings By: Gene Perret When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you
Type: Retirement Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired
Type: Relationship Funny Sayings By: Fortune Cookie When you row another person across the river, you get there yourself.
Type: Patriot Day Funny Sayings By: Charles L. Allen When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you're slamming the door in the face of God
Type: Attitude Funny Sayings By: Brahma Kumaris When you smile, not only do you feel but you bring a ray of light into the lives of others
Type: Dance Funny Sayings By: Bill Austin When you take dancing lessons, you learn steps and you learn steps and you learn steps. It can go on for a long time. And then one day, you just learn to dance, and it is so different
Type: Adversity Funny Sayings By: Leslie Grossman When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best
Type: Valentine's Day Funny Sayings By: Natalie Clifford Barney When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks
Type: Computers Funny Sayings By: John DeLasaux When you're in the midst of a blizzard, you don't shovel your driveway ... you scrape the pileup of snow off your roof to keep your house from falling in. Some of that snow may fall on a guest approaching your porch ... too bad
Type: Friendship Funny Sayings By: Unknown When you're looking for a friend don't look for perfection, just look for friendship
Type: Celebrity Funny Sayings By: Cher The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him
Type: Retirement Funny Sayings By: Abe Lemons The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off
Type: Groundhog Day Funny Sayings By: Patrick Young The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it