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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Gallagher
      Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alice Walker
      I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : e. e. cummings
      I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Type: Financial   Funny Sayings By: 
      He who learns from his parents to spend less than he earns owes them more than those who inherit fortunes.

Type: Football   Funny Sayings By: Various
      Robert Lee was able to do some running on his groin for the first time

Type: Financial   Funny Sayings By: 
      Credit lengthens life; debt shorten its. To live long, avoid debt.

Type: Emotions   Funny Sayings By: Aesop
      Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.

Type: April Fool's Day   Funny Sayings By: Jack Handey
      I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: 
      One of life’s richest blessings are pleasant thoughts. Force them at any cost of efforts.

Type: Charity   Funny Sayings By: Franklin D. Roosevelt
      Peace, like charity, begins at home

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Sir Winston Churchill
      When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By:  The Reverend Jesse Jackson
       Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: Marion C. Garretty
      Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible

Type: Love   Funny Sayings By: myself
      If You Love Someone Put Their Name In A Circle Not A Heart, A Heart Can Break But A Circle Goes On Forever"

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate!

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Katherine Mansfield
      I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in.

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