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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Danny Devito
      Life is a game, whoever has the most money at the end wins

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Lopez
      The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Tommy Cooper
      I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I can resist anything but temptation.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson
      For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Type: Commitment Ceremonies   Funny Sayings By: From the movie When Harry Met Sally
      When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible

Type: Retirement   Funny Sayings By: Gene Perret
      When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you

Type: Retirement   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired

Type: Relationship   Funny Sayings By: Fortune Cookie
      When you row another person across the river, you get there yourself.

Type: Patriot Day   Funny Sayings By: Charles L. Allen
      When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you're slamming the door in the face of God

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Brahma Kumaris
      When you smile, not only do you feel but you bring a ray of light into the lives of others

Type: Dance   Funny Sayings By: Bill Austin
      When you take dancing lessons, you learn steps and you learn steps and you learn steps. It can go on for a long time. And then one day, you just learn to dance, and it is so different

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Leslie Grossman
      When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Natalie Clifford Barney
      When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks

Type: Computers   Funny Sayings By: John DeLasaux
      When you're in the midst of a blizzard, you don't shovel your driveway ... you scrape the pileup of snow off your roof to keep your house from falling in. Some of that snow may fall on a guest approaching your porch ... too bad

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      When you're looking for a friend don't look for perfection, just look for friendship

Type: Celebrity   Funny Sayings By: Cher
      The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him

Type: Retirement   Funny Sayings By: Abe Lemons
      The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off

Type: Groundhog Day   Funny Sayings By: Patrick Young
      The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it

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