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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      The world, indeed, is like a dream and the treasures of the world are an alluring mirage! Like the apparent distances in a picture, things have no reality in themselves, but they are like heat haze.

Type: Funny Saying   Funny Sayings By: Lopez
      The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Type: Maturing Altruistically   Funny Sayings By: 
      We learn and grow most when we face the most extremes of weather, obstacles, religions, races, political parties, and points of view.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950
      The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt

Type: Patriot Day   Funny Sayings By: Charles Sangster
      The hero dead cannot expire:,The dead still play their part.

Type: Memorial Day   Funny Sayings By: Charles Sangster
      The hero dead cannot expire:, The dead still play their part.

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: Roger Angell in Fortuity
      Seen from this vantage point, the preoccupied fans below sometimes suggest a huddled, uncomplaining horde of immigrants stuffed into steerage on some endless voyage toward better luck-not an inappropriate image if we remind ourselves that this famous rustbucket, the good ship Cubbie, last dropped anchor in the shining harbor of the World Series in 1945

Type: Creativity   Funny Sayings By: 
      The strong by scattering their energies, accomplish nothing. The weak, by concentrating on one thing, build big business.

Type: Chinese Saying   Funny Sayings By: none
      every rose has thorns

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Doris Ann Foster
      Death row is a state of mind

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      To sharpen your mind, select a topic and force yourself to keep talking about it for 10 minutes without stopping. That develops concentration, observation, memory, will power and fluency.

Type: Halloween   Funny Sayings By: Philip Freneau
      Red serpents, fiery forms, and yelling hags,Fit company for mad adventurers.

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Theodore Levitt
      The purpose of a business is to create and keep customers

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Leo Rosten
      The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all

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