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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Lopez
      The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Tommy Cooper
      I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I can resist anything but temptation.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson
      For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Daniel J. Boorstin
      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dick Cavett
      If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Richard Halliburton
      Just about a month from now I'm set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars

Type: Grandparents Day   Funny Sayings By: Edward H. Dreschnack
      Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done, she becomes a grandmother

Type: Grandparents Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      No cowboy was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent pulling a baby picture out of a wallet

Type: Goals   Funny Sayings By: 
      First build a proper goal; that goal will make it EASY, ALMOST AUTOMATIC, to build a proper you. Striving for a goal develops all the means needed to reach it.

Type: Housewarming   Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days

Type: Emotions   Funny Sayings By: Fast Food #1!
      Cheeseburger is the life of friends in the heart forever till it dies and becomes hamburger. So cherish your fries.

Type: Butterfly   Funny Sayings By: Rev. W. Bingley
      Cats, by means of their whiskers, seem to possess something like an additional sense: these have, perhaps, some analogy to the antennae of moths and butterflies

Type: Freedom   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain
      It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either

Type: Friends   Funny Sayings By: John Lennon
      I get by with a little help from my friends

Type: Missing You   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again

Type: Celebrity   Funny Sayings By: David Letterman
      Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: James Harvey Robinson, The Human Comedy, 1937
      Political campaigns are designedly made into emotional orgies which endeavor to distract attention from the real issues involved, and they actually paralyze what slight powers of cerebration man can normally muster

Type: Freedom   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      A man can be free even within prison walls. Freedom is something spiritual. Whoever has once had it, can never lose it. There are some people who are never free outside a prison

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