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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Joe DiMaggio
      You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen

Type: Teacher Appreciation   Funny Sayings By: Carl Jung
      One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelingsThe curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child

Type: Books   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Wilde
      The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world own shame

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Anatole France
      The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.

Type: Freedom   Funny Sayings By: Frederick Douglass
      The whole history of the progress of human liberty shows that all concessions yet made to her august claims have been born of earnest struggle. If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters

Type: Flag Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      The whole inspiration of our life as a nation flows out from the waving folds of this banner

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Sydney J. Harris
      The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.

Type: Love   Funny Sayings By: Keith Sullivan
      The whole world loves a lover' is an interesting theory, but a very bad legal defense

Type: Independence Day   Funny Sayings By: Thomas Macaulay
      Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down as a self-evident proposition that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedomThe maxim is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water till he had lear

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Meg Greenfield
      If a politician murders his mother, the first response of the press or of his opponents will likely be not that it was a terrible thing to do, but rather that in a statement made six years before he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: Yogi Berra
      If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base slump. I just ain't hittin

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped!

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