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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown
      Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Type: April Fool's Day   Funny Sayings By: Will Rogers
      The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Norman Vincent Peale
      The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism

Type: Italian Sayings   Funny Sayings By: Italian
      The troubles deep in the pot are known only by the spoon

Type: Friends   Funny Sayings By: Walt Whitman
      I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends

Type: Thanksgiving Day   Funny Sayings By: John Taylor
      And though I ebb in worth, I'll flow in thanks

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain
      I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Type: Love Quotes   Funny Sayings By: William Shakespeare
      Love sought is good, but given unsought is better

Type: Dreams   Funny Sayings By: 
      One thought might convert a stumbling block into a stepping stone.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      Our thoughts can help us more than doctors and harm us more than brickbats.

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Wilde
      One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

Type: Entertainment   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly

Type: Car   Funny Sayings By: Yiddish Curse
      You should have ten penthouses in ten Park Avenue buildings and in each one you should have a gorgeous blonde waiting to do your every wish and in front of each of these ten buildings you should have a Rolls Royce with a chauffeur and every morning you should get into each car and your chauffeur should drive you to a different doctor and not one doctor should know what's wrong with you

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion

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