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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Jessie Jackson
      A frustrated chicken should not vote for Colonel Sanders.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      So little time and so little to do.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Aldous Huxley
      The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ben Shahn
      An amateur is someone who supports himself with outside jobs which enable him to paint. A professional is someone whose wife works to enable him to paint.

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Jean Kerr
      If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out

Type: Love   Funny Sayings By: Sir James M. Barrie
      If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have

Type: Growth   Funny Sayings By: 
      If you have no problem, you are missing an opportunity to growth.

Type: Creativity   Funny Sayings By: Aesop
      I will have nought to do with a man who can blow hot and cold with the same breath.

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899
      All we have of freedom, all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.

Type: Memorial Day   Funny Sayings By: Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899
      All we have of freedom, all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.

Type: Independence Day   Funny Sayings By: Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899
      All we have of freedom, all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
      If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it

Type: Celebrity   Funny Sayings By: Boy George
      If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role

Type: Charity   Funny Sayings By: Bob Hope
      If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble

Type: Sweetest Day   Funny Sayings By: Bob Hope
      If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble

Type: Health   Funny Sayings By: 
      Mental health means getting along with the world, with others and with ourselves.

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: Charles Dickens
      I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year

Type: Missing You   Funny Sayings By: Ben Jonson
      In the hope to meet, Shortly again, and make our absence sweet.

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