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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Type: Movie   Funny Sayings By: Laura Miller
      Writers would be warm, loyal, and otherwise terrific people--if only they'd stop writing

Type: Proverbs   Funny Sayings By: Robert Benchley
      Tell us your phobias & we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: Don Meredith
      If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, wouldn't it be a Merry Christmas?

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Wilde
      Perhaps, after all, America never has been discoveredI myself would say that it had merely been detected

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: George MacDonald
      Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.

Type: Relationship   Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      Conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for his competitors, for it is that which all are practising every day while they live.

Type: Family   Funny Sayings By: 
      The husband should be blind at times; the wife deaf; both dumb, most of the time.

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Aldous Huxley, "Wordsworth in the Tropics"
      Great scientific discoveries have been made by men seeking to verify quite erroneous theories about the nature of things

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Francois-Auguste Rodin
      I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

Type: Birth   Funny Sayings By: Luke John
      In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirini-us was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: 
      Practise doesn't make perfect, not is it supposed to. Practise is about increasing your repertoire of ways to recover from your mistakes.

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      Applause is a receipt, not a bill.

Type: Personality   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Frederick Douglass
      I expose slavery in this country, because to expose it is to kill it. Slavery is one of those monsters of darkness to whom the light of truth is death

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