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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown
      Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: 
      Much happiness is overlooked because it doesnít cost anything.

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Francis Bacon
      Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat we say we have had our day

Type: New Year   Funny Sayings By: Charles Lamb
      New Year's Day is every man's birthday

Type: New Year   Funny Sayings By: Hamilton Wright Mabie
      New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: Stephen Covey
      Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.

Type: Growth   Funny Sayings By: 
      Itís harder, but more rewarding, to be a master of one thing than a jack of all.

Type: Goals   Funny Sayings By: Mark Victor Hansen
      Goals are a preview of future events and experiences in your life.

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen

Type: For a Friend   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      There are big ships and small shipsBut the best ship of all is friendship

Type: Children   Funny Sayings By: Jim Rohn
      Books are easy to find and easy to buy. A paperback these days only costs six or seven dollars. You can borrow that from your kids

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      There are five things which no one is able to accomplish in this world: first, to cease growing old when he is growing old; second, to cease being sick; third, to cease dying; fourth, to deny dissolution when there is dissolution; fifth, to deny non-being.

Type: Relationship   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Alexis de Tocqueville
      There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle

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