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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I am no more humble than my talents require.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Alfred Hitchcock
      The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Mark Twain
      Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Gordon B. Hinckley
      Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Bucket
      A woman's place is in the kitchen, telling her man how she likes her steak.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dave Barry
      You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown
      Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Type: Proverbs   Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: Robert G. Ingersoll
      He loves his country best who strives to make it best

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951
      It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: André Gide
      One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Voltaire
      One owes respect to the living; but to the dead one owes nothing but the truth

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Henry Ward Beecher
      God uses suffering as a whetstone, to make men sharp with

Type: Baby   Funny Sayings By: Ed Howe
      Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: Bartlett Giamatti
      It's designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything is new again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains comes, it stops, and leaves you to face the fall alone

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance," Social Studies, 1981
      Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagineYou need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture starIf your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun,

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: 
      The press box at Wrigley Field in Chicago is an extended narrow shed, two rows deep, that is precariously bolted to the iron rafters just underneath the park's second deck. To gain access, one must climb a steeply angled ramp and clamber down a little starboard companionway, guarded at its foot by a uniformed minion and then proceed giddily along a catwalk that hangs directly above the tiered, circling rows of seats and spectators behind home plate

Type: Common sense   Funny Sayings By: Beatrice Lillie
      Happiness for the average person may be said to flow largely from common sense -- adapting one-self to circumstances -- and a sense of humor

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: 
      Happiness has little to do with what we have; everything with what we think.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Marcel Proust, The Past Recaptured, Remembrance of Things Past
      Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind

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