Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?
Quote Type : Funny Quotes Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Quote Type : Humor Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Quote Type : Funny Saying Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Type: Movie Funny Sayings By: Laura Miller Writers would be warm, loyal, and otherwise terrific people--if only they'd stop writing
Type: Proverbs Funny Sayings By: Robert Benchley Tell us your phobias & we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Type: Christmas Funny Sayings By: Don Meredith If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, wouldn't it be a Merry Christmas?
Type: Columbus Day Funny Sayings By: Oscar Wilde Perhaps, after all, America never has been discoveredI myself would say that it had merely been detected
Type: Friendship Funny Sayings By: George MacDonald Friends, if we be honest with ourselves, we shall be honest with each other.
Type: Relationship Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson Conversation is an art in which a man has all mankind for his competitors, for it is that which all are practising every day while they live.
Type: Family Funny Sayings By: The husband should be blind at times; the wife deaf; both dumb, most of the time.
Type: Columbus Day Funny Sayings By: Aldous Huxley, "Wordsworth in the Tropics" Great scientific discoveries have been made by men seeking to verify quite erroneous theories about the nature of things
Type: Famous Saying Funny Sayings By: Francois-Auguste Rodin I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Type: Birth Funny Sayings By: Luke John In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirini-us was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn
Type: Attitude Funny Sayings By: Practise doesn't make perfect, not is it supposed to. Practise is about increasing your repertoire of ways to recover from your mistakes.
Type: Attitude Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie Applause is a receipt, not a bill.
Type: Personality Funny Sayings By: Buddha The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
Type: Death Funny Sayings By: Frederick Douglass I expose slavery in this country, because to expose it is to kill it. Slavery is one of those monsters of darkness to whom the light of truth is death