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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Lopez
      The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Tommy Cooper
      I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I can resist anything but temptation.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson
      For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Daniel J. Boorstin
      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Type: Maturity   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, In that case, there is no time to lose. Plant it this afternoon

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: Ulysses S. Grant
      Our great modern RepublicMay those who seek the blessings of its institutions and the protection of its flag remember the obligations they impose

Type: Self Confidence   Funny Sayings By: 
      God created us, but he gave us the power of choice to shape our own lives and fortunes.

Type: Determination   Funny Sayings By: Moliere
      The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it

Type: Bureaucracy   Funny Sayings By: George Van Valkenburg
      Man creates problems. Government and bureaucrats magnify them 100 times

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Robert L. Park, in The New York Times, 7 December 1999
      The greatest discoveries of science have always been those that forced us to rethink our beliefs about the universe and our place in it

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: Emerson
      Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Oscar Levant
      Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: Allen Collins and Ronnie Van Zant, "Free Bird," One More From the Road, 1973, performed by Lynyrd S
      If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me?

Type: Love Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Gordon William Allport
      Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Paula Poundstone
      I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge

Type: Missing You   Funny Sayings By: John Dryden
      Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: John Dryden
      Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age

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