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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Clare Boothe Luce
      The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: Richard Crashaw
      Great little One! whose all-embracing birth Lifts Earth to Heaven, stoops Heaven to Earth.

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Wendy Wasserstein
      Don't live down to expectationsGo out there and do something remarkable

Type: Creativity   Funny Sayings By: Art Buchwald
      A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

Type: Love Sayings   Funny Sayings By: Beatrice Saunders
      Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: 
      You will always have problems, but you will always have freinds.

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: John Fiske
      We shall be inclined to pronounce the voyage that led to the way to this New World as the most epoch-making event of all that have occurred since the birth of Christ

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: David Bristol
      There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o'clock

Type: Football   Funny Sayings By: George Will
      Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Winston Churchill
      We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival

Type: Love   Funny Sayings By: Henry Drummond
      You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love.

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: Yogi Berra
      Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical

Type: Sports   Funny Sayings By: Gary Linneker
      Football is a game played for 90 minutes by 22 men, and Germany always win.



Type: Football   Funny Sayings By: Vince Lombardi
      Football is like life, it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority

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