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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Frank Zappa
      Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I am no more humble than my talents require.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Alfred Hitchcock
      The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Mark Twain
      Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Gordon B. Hinckley
      Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Bucket
      A woman's place is in the kitchen, telling her man how she likes her steak.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dave Barry
      You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Type: Thanksgiving Day   Funny Sayings By: Henry Ward Beecher
      The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley's Philosophy, 1900
      A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large

Type: April Fool's Day   Funny Sayings By: Max Eastman
      It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor

Type: Party Invitations   Funny Sayings By: Annie Dillard
      Spend the afternoonYou can't take it with you

Type: Computers   Funny Sayings By: Computer
      HELP: The feature that assists in generating more questions. When the Help feature is used correctly, users are able to navigate through a series of Help screens and end up where they started from without learning a damn thing

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: Henry Cabot Lodge
      It is the flag just as much of the man who was naturalized yesterday as of the men whose people have been here many generations

Type: Flag Day   Funny Sayings By: Henry Cabot Lodge
      It is the flag just as much of the man who was naturalized yesterday as of the men whose people have been here many generations

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fallCount your life with smiles and not the tears that roll

Type: Sweetest Day   Funny Sayings By: Sydney Smith
      It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Sydney Smith
      It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: 
      Force the habits you consider best for you. Time will make them natural and easy.

Type: Easter   Funny Sayings By: Katherine Lee Bates
      It is the hour to rend thy chains,The blossom time of souls.

Type: Goals   Funny Sayings By: 
      Dream the impossible dream. Dreaming it may make it possible. It often has.

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: J. Horace McFarland
      It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism

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