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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: William Shakespeare, Henry IV
      Past and to come, seems best; things present, worse

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Japanese Proverb
      One kind word can warm three winter months.

Type: Unity   Funny Sayings By: G.B. Shaw, Pygmalion, 1912
      Independence... [is] middle-class blasphemyWe are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth

Type: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day   Funny Sayings By: Anne Frank
      How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Henny Youngman
      My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: Gordon B. Hinckley
      Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: John Sterling
      He stands in history as the completer of the globe

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Type: Anniversaries   Funny Sayings By: Peter De Vries
      The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: John George Jones
      He stands out among the beacon lights of history as a man of vision dominated by a definite purpose

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: Franklin D. Roosevelt
      The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men

Type: Independence Day   Funny Sayings By: Franklin D. Roosevelt
      The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men

Type: Weddings   Funny Sayings By: Michael Leunig
      Love one another and you will be happyIt's as simple and as difficult as that

Type: Valentine's Day   Funny Sayings By: Michael Leunig
      Love one another and you will be happyIt's as simple and as difficult as that

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