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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Unknown
      Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Aesop
      We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Arthur James Balfour
      Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Melissa Stuart
      Smoking can kill. If your dead, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Art Buchwald
      Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Type: Anniversaries   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.

Type: Memorial Day   Funny Sayings By: Richard Watson Gilder
      Better than honor and glory, and History's iron pen,Was the thought of duty done and the love of his fellow-men.

Type: Wealth   Funny Sayings By: 
      Better than low taxes for mending hard times is the habit of spending less than we earn. Wealth comes oftener from decreasing our wants than from increasing our income. A real sign of growing sense is learning to reduce expenses.

Type: Career   Funny Sayings By: 
      Select that career which, while you are building it, it also building you.

Type: Patriotic   Funny Sayings By: Simone de Beauvoir
      I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom

Type: Independence Day   Funny Sayings By: Simone de Beauvoir
      I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: Julia Peterkin, A Plantation Christmas, 1934
      I hear that in many places something has happened to Christmas; that it is changing from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that many people dread the day and the obligation to give Christmas presents is a ni

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: C. Hoppe
      I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need that I will have left the earth a better p

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: William Shakespeare Hamlet
      For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come

Type: Love   Funny Sayings By: Alf Whit
      I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate - but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza

Type: Mankind   Funny Sayings By: Charles Schulz
      I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: 
      Now is the best time to start anything, If you wait for the perfect time, You will starve waiting.

Type: Labor Day   Funny Sayings By: Doug Larson
      If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend

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