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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dave Barry
      You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : David Letterman
      Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Charlie Brown
      Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Type: Fathers Day   Funny Sayings By: Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
      Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense

Type: Friendship   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Type: I'm Sorry   Funny Sayings By: Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911
      You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Irina Dunn, 1970, commonly misattributed to Gloria Steinem who had quoted Dunn
      A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle

Type: Friends   Funny Sayings By: Francoise Sagan
      One can never speak enough of the virtues, the dangers, the power of shared laughter

Type: Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Dave Barry
      You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Type: Thank You.   Funny Sayings By: Malayan Proverb
      One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Knute Rockne
      One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

Type: Goals   Funny Sayings By: Aristotle
      All men seek one goal: success or happiness. The only way to achieve true success is to express yourself completely in service to society. First, have a definite, clear, practical ideal--a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends--wisdom, money, material and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Terri Guillemets
      How can something bother you if you won't let it?

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Marie Stopes
      You can take no credit for beauty at sixteenBut if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul's own doing

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: George Eliot
      Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air…

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