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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Frank A. Clark
      If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere

Type: Cute   Funny Sayings By: Erma Bombeck
      If you can laugh at it, you can live with it

Type: Cool   Funny Sayings By: Sara Teasdale
      When I can look Life in the eyes, Grown calm and very coldly wise, Life will have given me the Truth, And taken in exchange - my youth

Type: Comedy   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Anna Eleanor Roosevelt
      No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Type: Christmas   Funny Sayings By: Ogden Nash
      People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.

Type: Dance   Funny Sayings By: Martha Graham
      Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion

Type: Entrepreneurism   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      We can change ourselves by reading and studying, by meditating and praying.

Type: Sweetest Day   Funny Sayings By: Charles H. Spurgeon
      A good character is the best tombstoneThose who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have witheredCarve your name on hearts, not on marble

Type: Dreams   Funny Sayings By: James Allen
      He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Dream lofty dreams and as you dream so shall you become...

Type: Grandparents Day   Funny Sayings By: Judith Levy
      When a child is born, so are grandmothers

Type: Family   Funny Sayings By: 
      Giving children everything they want is giving them boredom. That pretty toy, so fiercely sought, has lost it charm by being caught.

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