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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alice Walker
      I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : e. e. cummings
      I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Jessie Jackson
      A frustrated chicken should not vote for Colonel Sanders.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
      We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate

Type: Birthday Sayings   Funny Sayings By: Robert Browning
      Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be

Type: Drinking   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      Good old days: Beer foamed and drinking water didn't

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
      The cold is a good counselor, but it is cold

Type: Love Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Sigmund Freud
      How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: Phyllis Diller
      It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge

Type: Fathers Day   Funny Sayings By: Phyllis Diller
      It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge

Type: Baby   Funny Sayings By: Phyllis Diller
      It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge

Type: I Love You   Funny Sayings By: Robert Browning
      Grow old with me! The best is yet to be

Type: Creativity   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      The cold world needs warm-hearted Christians

Type: Living   Funny Sayings By: 
      That old-fashioned golden rule is still the best rule fro living a rich, full life. Life is a slow process of learning the golden rule, the basis of the 45 greatest religious.

Type: Luck   Funny Sayings By: Orison Swett Marden
      The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone

Type: Career   Funny Sayings By: 
      The golden rule is no sacrifice. Itís an investment.

Type: Technology   Funny Sayings By: Gerald Weinberg
      If builders built houses the way programmers built programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.



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