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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Johnny Carson
      For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Daniel J. Boorstin
      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Dick Cavett
      If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Mark Twain
      I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mark Twain
      The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
      A new point of view is worth 80 IQ points

Type: Movie   Funny Sayings By: James Lapine
      White. A blank page or canvas. So many possibilities

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Coupling, "Her Best Friend's Bottom," original airdate 17 September 2001, written by Steven Moffat,
      Having a bottom is living with the enemyNot only do they spend their lives slowly inflating, they flirt with men while we're looking the other way

Type: Election Day   Funny Sayings By: Author Unknown
      During a campaign the air is full of speeches - and vice versa

Type: Self Discipline   Funny Sayings By: 
      Accept a challenge. Try being your own rough, tough, firm and stern boss. Once started, it’s genuine fun. Until you try it, you won’t know one of life’s greatest challenges. You can’t hire any manager or boss who can boss or manage you as well as yourself.

Type: For a Friend   Funny Sayings By: Toni Morrison, Beloved
      She is a friend of mindShe gather me, manThe pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right orderIt's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind

Type: Adversity   Funny Sayings By: Elinor Hoyt Wylie, Angels and Earthly Creatures. One Person. Sonnet XVI
      I bear a little more than I can bear

Type: Relationship   Funny Sayings By: Scarecrow
      I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking.

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Zsa Zsa Gabor
      I want a man who's kind and understandingIs that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Type: Unity   Funny Sayings By: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell
      One is a member of a country, a profession, a civilization, a religionOne is not just a man

Type: Columbus Day   Funny Sayings By: Justin Winsor
      Hardly a name in profane history is more august than hisHardly another character in the world's record has made so little of its opportunitiesHis discovery was a blunder; his blunder was a new world; the New World is his monument!

Type: Love Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Mother Teresa
      Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls

Type: Wealth   Funny Sayings By: Robert Kiyosaki
      I have a problem with too much money. I can't reinvest it fast enough, and because I reinvest it, more money comes in. Yes, the rich do get richer.

Type: Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By: Woody Allen
      I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Type: Teacher Appreciation   Funny Sayings By: Lily Tomlin as "Edith Ann"
      I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework

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