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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Peter O'Toole
      When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Kevin Gildea
      I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : unknown
      Black holes are when God tried to divide by zero.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Groucho Marx
      My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Unknown
      Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Aesop
      We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Type: For a Friend   Funny Sayings By: Caroline Sheridan Norton
      We have been friends together In sunshine and in shade.

Type: Friends   Funny Sayings By: Ecclesiastes
      Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: ece
      We have but one life--whether we spend it laughing or weeping.

Type: Proverbs   Funny Sayings By: 
      What we canít learn from proverbs we must learn from experience. Which is cheaper?

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: Dinah Craik
      Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep

Type: For a Friend   Funny Sayings By: Dinah Craik
      Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep

Type: Fathers Day   Funny Sayings By: Dinah Craik
      Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep

Type: Anniversaries   Funny Sayings By: Dinah Craik
      Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep

Type: Death   Funny Sayings By: Brigham Young
      What we commonly call death does not destroy the body, it only causes a separation of spirit and body

Type: Famous Saying   Funny Sayings By: Thich Nhat Hanh
      In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.

Type: Missing You   Funny Sayings By: Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French
      Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French
      Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire

Type: Cool   Funny Sayings By: Charles Lowe
      Eat the dish of revenge cold instead of hot

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Tom Brokaw
      You are educatedYour certification is in your degreeYou may think of it as the ticket to the good lifeLet me ask you to think of an alternativeThink of it as your ticket to change the world

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