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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Denis Leary
      Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swin next time, OK Jerry?

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Wilde
      I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Randy Gilbert
      If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Oliver Herford
      The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

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Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : Ed Gardner
      Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Carolyn
      Jesus is like Sugar..

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Romain Gary
      Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Oscar Levant
      I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : H.L. Mencken
      Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Ayn Rand
      Mr. Ward, what is it that the foulest bastards on earth denounce us for, among other things? Oh yes, for our motto of 'Business as usual.' Well--business as usual, Mr. Ward

Type: Career   Funny Sayings By: 
      The harder and smarter we work, the luckier we get – and the more we live.

Type: Patriot Day   Funny Sayings By: Eric Hoffer
      The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings

Type: Baseball   Funny Sayings By: Ted Williams
      The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Barbara De Angelis
      The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.

Type: Birth   Funny Sayings By: John Mason
      You were born an original. Don't die a copy

Type: Funny Saying   Funny Sayings By: Daniel J. Boorstin
      Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.

Type: Boredom   Funny Sayings By: Ellen Parr
      The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity

Type: Maturity   Funny Sayings By: Erich Fromm
      Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you

Type: Relationship   Funny Sayings By: 
      If we’re not kind to the unkind, our brand of kindness is shallow.

Type: Family   Funny Sayings By: Benjamin Spock
      The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing is best after all.

Type: Business   Funny Sayings By: Bob Burg
      Exposure plus 95 cents might buy you a decent cup of coffee. The key is to 'position' yourself in your market as the expert, the resource, the only person your prospect would ever even THINK of doing business with, or referring to others

Type: Freedom   Funny Sayings By: Johann Wolfgang
      None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free

Type: Humor   Funny Sayings By: 
      Bugs are Sons of Glitches!

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