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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alice Walker
      I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : e. e. cummings
      I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Jessie Jackson
      A frustrated chicken should not vote for Colonel Sanders.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Type: Dance   Funny Sayings By: Unknown
      In dancing, the women usually know the steps and the men know the holds

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Mohandas Gandhi
      A principle is the expression of perfection, and as imperfect beings like us cannot practise perfection, we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practice.

Type: Dreams   Funny Sayings By: Denis Waitley
      Get excited and enthusiastic about you own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire—you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away.

Type: Confidence   Funny Sayings By: Anais Nin
      She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others She does not care to be herself

Type: I Love You   Funny Sayings By: From the movie Annie
      How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard

Type: Goodbye   Funny Sayings By: Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie
      How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard

Type: Curiosity   Funny Sayings By: Declaration of Independence
      The Declaration of Independence - of the 13 United States of America We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness

Type: Growth   Funny Sayings By: 
      To welcome a difficulty is to cut its size in half.

Type: Birthday Sayings   Funny Sayings By: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
      Youth comes but once in a lifetime

Type: Happiness   Funny Sayings By: Buddha
      Peace comes from within: Do not seek it without.

Type: Common sense   Funny Sayings By: Franklin D. Roosevelt
      It is common sense to take a method and try it; if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something

Type: Maturity   Funny Sayings By: Amy Lowell
      Youth condemns; maturity condones

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Dale Carnegie
      Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.

Type: Women's Greetings   Funny Sayings By: Joan Rivers
      Don't cookDon't cleanNo man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculateLie down, you hot bitch."
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