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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Gallagher
      Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.

Quote Type : Funny Saying   Funny Quotes By : George Carlin
      Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Mel Brooks
      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : Woody Allen
      If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
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Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alice Walker
      I'm always amazed that people will actually choose to sit in front of the television and just be savaged by stuff that belittles their intelligence.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Quotes By : e. e. cummings
      I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : 
      Your butt smells like chickenpoo but you sniff it anyway because it's there

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Grenville Kleiser
      Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Alan Kay
       If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough.

Quote Type : Humor   Funny Quotes By : Anatole France
      If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

Type: Graduation   Funny Sayings By: Judy Garland
      Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else

Type: Mothers Day   Funny Sayings By: Marcel Proust
      Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom

Type: For a Friend   Funny Sayings By: Marcel Proust
      Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom

Type: Anniversaries   Funny Sayings By: Marcel Proust
      Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom

Type: April Fool's Day   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain
      Let us be thankful for the foolsBut for them the rest of us could not succeed

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Martin Luther King, Jr.
      It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.

Type: Creativity   Funny Sayings By: chris aleke
      always be what nature made t be for nature cares for you

Type: Attitude   Funny Sayings By: Aesop
      Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.

Type: Success   Funny Sayings By: Abraham Lincoln
      Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.

Type: Books   Funny Sayings By: Eudora Welty
      It had been startling and disappointing to me to find out that story books had been written by people, that books were not natural wonders, coming of themselves like grass

Type: Veterans Day   Funny Sayings By: Mark Twain, Notebook, 1935
      In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scornedWhen his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot

Type: Love Sayings   Funny Sayings By: Duane Allman
      I love being alive and will be the best man I possibly can. I will take love wherever I find it and offer it to everyone who will take it. I will seek knowledge from those wiser and teach those who wish to learn from me

Type: Weddings   Funny Sayings By: Rita Rudner
      I love being marriedIt's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

Type: Self Improvement   Funny Sayings By: 
      Strong belief generates the “can do”, the “can do” generates the “how to”.
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