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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   The challenge of history is to recover the past and introduce it to the present.
 ~quote about History by David Thelen

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   Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
 ~quotes on Imagination by Stephen Leacock

   I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me nave or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
 ~sayings on Feminism by Anas Nin

   The hardest work is to go idle.
 ~quotations on Idleness by Yiddish Proverb

   My great-grandfather used to say to his wife, my great-grandmother, who in turn told her daughter, my grandmother, who repeated it to her daughter, my mother, who used to remind her daughter, my own sister, that to talk well and eloquently was a very great art, but that an equally great one was to know the right moment to stop.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

   Well, said Pooh, what I like best, and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.
 ~saying about sarcastic by A.A. Milne

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   When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
 ~quote about Alcohol by Henny Youngman

   I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
 ~quotes on Quotations by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals and Miscellaneous Notebooks, May 1849

   Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
 ~sayings on Adversity by Truman Capote

   You can't have everything... where would you put it?
 ~quotations on Humorous by Steven Wright

   The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Heywood Broun

   If male homosexuals are called gay, then female homosexuals should be called ecstatic.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Shelly Roberts

   I would never read a book if it were possible for me to talk half an hour with the man who wrote it.
 ~quote about Books Reading by Woodrow Wilson

   If the thunder is not loud, the peasant forgets to cross himself
 ~quotes on Adversity by Russian Proverb

   I never saw a discontented treeThey grip the ground as though they liked it, and though fast rooted they travel about as far as we doThey go wandering forth in all directions with every wind, going and coming like ourselves, traveling with us around the s
 ~sayings on Arbor Day by John Muir

   Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
 ~quotations on Humility by Frank Leahy, Look, 10 January 1955

   There is more than a morsel of truth in the saying, He who hates vice hates mankind.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by W. MacNeile Dixon

   There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Alfred Capus

   If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
 ~quote about Valentine's Day by Author Unknown

   A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Robert Frost

   Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
 ~sayings on Happiness by Albert Schweitzer

   A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books.
 ~quotations on Beauty by Walt Whitman

   Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Golda Meir

   Every burned book enlightens the world.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.
 ~quote about Integrity by John Lubbock

   Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.
 ~quotes on Wise Words by Buddha

   One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings
 ~sayings on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day by Franklin Thomas

   The joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence; else who could bear it?
 ~quotations on Missing You by Nicholas Rowe

   I willingly confess to so great a partiality for trees as tempts me to respect a man in exact proportion to his respect for them.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by James Russell Lowell

   Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men
 ~saying about sarcastic by Joseph Conrad

   Man was predestined to have free will.
 ~quote about Humorous by Hal Lee Luyah

   Take away love and our earth is a tomb
 ~quotes on Valentine's Day by Robert Browning

   Oh! say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave,O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
 ~sayings on Flag Day by Francis Scott Key, The Star-Spangled Banner

   The sensual caress of waist deep cold smoke.... glory in skiing virgin snow, in being the first to mark the powder with the signature of their run.
 ~quotations on Skiing by Tim Cahill

   Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not its twin.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

   I always turn to the sports section first. The sports section records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Earl Warren, quoted in Sports Illustrated, 22 July 1968

   [H]istory assures us that civilizations decay quite leisurely.
 ~quote about Society by Will and Ariel Durant, Lessons of History

   The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green.
 ~quotes on Helping by Thomas Carlyle

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