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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.
 ~quote about Marriage by Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love

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   A true friend is the greatest possesion.
 ~quotes on Friendship by Ben Franklin

   Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf
 ~sayings on Retirement by Gene Perret

   The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor.
 ~quotations on Language by Samuel Butler

   There is more difference within the sexes than between them.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Ivy Compton-Burnett, Mother and Son

   Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
 ~saying about sarcastic by Charles Caleb Colton

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   Adversity is like a strong windIt tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are
 ~quote about Adversity by Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

   If you came and you found a strange man... teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you'd kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don't think twice about it.
 ~quotes on Television by Jerome Singer

   Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery.
 ~sayings on Homosexuality by Hart Crane

   My adolescence progressed normally: enough misery to keep the death wish my usual state, an occasional high to keep me from actually taking the gas-pipe.
 ~quotations on Teenagers by Faye Moskowitz

   Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by H.L. Mencken

   It is much easier to become a father than to be one.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man, 1994

   Most people wish to serve God - but only in an advisory capacity.
 ~quote about God by Author Unknown

   If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice
 ~quotes on Thanksgiving Day by Meister Eckhart

   When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
 ~sayings on Sex by Frederike Ryder

   DoN't FiNd FaULt,FiNd ThE rEmEdY
 ~quotations on Attitude by Korn

   There are five things which no one is able to accomplish in this world: first, to cease growing old when he is growing old; second, to cease being sick; third, to cease dying; fourth, to deny dissolution when there is dissolution; fifth, to deny non-being.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Buddha

   If I had learned education I would not have had time to learn anything else.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Cornelius Vanderbilt

   Addictions do come in handy sometimes: at least you have to get out of bed for them.
 ~quote about Perspective by Martin Amis

   Every child begins the world again....
 ~quotes on Baby by Henry David Thoreau

   The indifference, callousness and contempt that so many people exhibit toward animals is evil first because it results in great suffering in animals, and second because it results in an incalculably great impoverishment of the human spirit. All education should be directed toward the refinement of the individual's sensibilities in relation not only to one's fellow humans everywhere, but to all things whatsoever.
 ~sayings on Animal Rights by Ashley Montague

   If equations are trains threading the landscape of numbers, then no train stops at pi.
 ~quotations on Math by Richard Preston

   Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Frank McKinney Kin Hubbard

   Trying to hit him (Phil Niekro) was like trying to eat Jell-O with chopsticks
 ~saying about sarcastic by Bobby Murcer

   There's opportunity in poker.... If Horace Greeley were alive today, his advice wouldn't be Go West, young man, and grow up with the country. Instead, he'd point to that deck of cards on table and say, Shuffle up and deal.
 ~quote about Poker by Lou Krieger

   A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home.
 ~quotes on Light by Author Unknown

   Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough
 ~sayings on Football by Jonathan Woodgate

   That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.
 ~quotations on Beauty by Ninon de L'Enclos

   In youth we are plagued by desire; in later years, by the desire to feel desire.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Sweet childish days, that were as long,As twenty days are now.
 ~saying about sarcastic by William Wordsworth, To a Butterfly

   Laughter sets the spirit free to move through even the most tragic of circumstances. It helps us shake our heads clear, get our feet back under us, restoring our sense of balance and purpose. Humor is integral to our peace of mind and to our ability to go beyond survival
 ~quote about Comedy by Captain Gerald Coffee POW in Vietnam for seven years

   Women.... Who made 'em? God must have been a... genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever?
 ~quotes on Hair by Bo Goldman, The Start of an Education,made popular by the movie Scent of a Woman

   Joy is a flower that blooms when you do.
 ~sayings on Happiness by Author Unknown

   Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.
 ~quotations on Baseball by Bill Veeck, 1975

   You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by P. J. O'Rourke

   Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Jean Cocteau

   The state calls its own violence law, but that of the individual crime.
 ~quote about Justice by Max Stirner, The Ego and His Own

   No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth
 ~quotes on Missing You by Robert Southey

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