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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
 ~quote about Cats by Terry Pratchett

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   Solvitur ambulando, St. Jerome was fond of saying. To solve a problem, walk around.
 ~quotes on Walking by Gregory McNamee

   Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.
 ~sayings on Religion by William James

   Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
 ~quotations on Carpe Diem by Scottish Proverb

   The object of teaching a child is to enable him to get along without his teacher.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Elbert Hubbard

   War is fear cloaked in courage.
 ~saying about sarcastic by William Westmoreland

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   You mix two jiggers of scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license
 ~quote about Baseball by Rocky Bridges

   All our lives we are putting pennies - our most golden pennies - into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty.
 ~quotes on Curmudgeons by Logan Pearsall Smith

   There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them
 ~sayings on Women's Greetings by Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

   You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
 ~quotations on Society by Art Buchwald

   History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Joseph Heller, Good as Gold

   Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get.
 ~saying about sarcastic by George D. Prentice

   [H]istory gives answers only to those who know how to ask questions.
 ~quote about History by Hajo Holborn, History and the Humanities

   The historian has been the hearth at which the soul of the country has been kept alive.
 ~quotes on History by John Morley, Notes on Politics and History

   Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
 ~sayings on Thinking by John F. Kennedy

   The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.
 ~quotations on Dancing by Mata Hari

   Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Albert Camus

   'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark our coming, and look brighter when we come.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Lord Byron

   Somebody recently figured out that we have 35 million laws to enforce the ten commandments.
 ~quote about Society by Attributed to both Bert Masterson and Earl Wilson

   The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
 ~quotes on Marriage by A.P. Herbert

   What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.
 ~sayings on Self-Control by Franklin P. Jones

   Sleep lingers all our lifetime about our eyes, as night hovers all day in the boughs of the fir-tree.
 ~quotations on Sleep by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by William Hale White

   We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion and put to death by reality
 ~saying about sarcastic by Judy Garland

   I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
 ~quote about Nature by Frank Lloyd Wright, quoted, 14 August 1966

   I like the silence of a church, before the service begins better than any preaching.
 ~quotes on Religion by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
 ~sayings on Sex by Author Unknown

   Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor
 ~quotations on Adversity by Truman Capote

   If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Dawn French

   Life’s royal crown jewels: health and peace of mind. Treat them royally.
 ~saying about sarcastic by

   My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance - but for us, not for God.
 ~quote about Religion by Albert Einstein

   Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings!
 ~quotes on Tea by Author Unknown

   Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things.
 ~sayings on Gratitude by Horace

   Find a need and fill it.
 ~quotations on Helping by Ruth Stafford Peale

   Progress imposes not only new possibilities for the future but new restrictions.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Norbert Wiener, The Human Use of Human Beings, 1950

   God's interest in the human race is nowhere better evinced than in obstetrics.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Martin H. Fischer

   Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers.
 ~quote about Marriage by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   How cunningly nature hides every wrinkle of her inconceivable antiquity under roses and violets and morning dew!
 ~quotes on Nature by Ralph Waldo Emerson

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