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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   You cannot endow even the best machine with initiative; the jolliest steam-roller will not plant flowers.
 ~quote about Technology by Walter Lippmann

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   Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let me label you as they may.
 ~quotes on Integrity by Mark Twain

   He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him.
 ~sayings on Effort by Dutch Proverb

   You will always have problems, but you will always have freinds.
 ~quotations on Friendship by

   Americans like fat books and thin women.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Russell Baker

   My definition [of a philosopher] is of a man up in a balloon, with his family and friends holding the ropes which confine him to earth and trying to haul him down.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Louisa May Alcott, in Life, Letters, and Journals, ed. E.D. Cheney, 1889

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   A race track is a place where windows clean people.
 ~quote about Gambling by Danny Thomas

   Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.
 ~quotes on Sisters by Susan Scarf Merrell

   Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
 ~sayings on Life by Ashleigh Brilliant

   History is concerned primarily with human phenomena, not with natural; and history is doubly human because, as an idea, it is man's creation, challenging him to transcend the limits of information about himself and to discover what he is by finding meaning in what he has done. In short, it is man's commentary on man.
 ~quotations on History by John Barker, The Superhistorians

   It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Niccolo Machiavelli

   A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Harry Truman

   And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
 ~quote about Carpe Diem by Abraham Lincoln

   Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
 ~quotes on Grief by Dan Rather

   When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.
 ~sayings on Money by Voltaire

   What we need are critical lovers of America - patriots who express their faith in their country by working to improve it
 ~quotations on Patriotic by Hubert H. Humphrey

   Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Thor Heyerdahl, Fatu-Hiva

   Only nature has a right to grieve perpetually, for she only is innocent. Soon the ice will melt, and the blackbirds sing along the river which he frequented, as pleasantly as ever. The same everlasting serenity will appear in this face of God, and we will not be sorrowful, if he is not
 ~saying about sarcastic by Henry David Thoreau

   There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before.
 ~quote about Birds by Robert Lynd, The Blue Lion and Other Essays

   High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?
 ~quotes on Food by Annita Manning

   In riding a horse, we borrow freedom.
 ~sayings on Horses by Helen Thomson

   You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
 ~quotations on Attitude by Art Buchwald

   Whoever is in a hurry shows that the thing he is about is too big for him.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Lord Chesterfield

   Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be. Custom will soon render it easy and agreeable.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Pythagoras

   Two master keys to financial independence: 1. Pay yourself first. Spend only what you have left after saving, not before. 2. Never let your expenses grow as fast as your income.
 ~quote about Financial by

   We can't win at home and we can't win on the road. My problem as general manager is I can't think of another place to play.
 ~quotes on Sports by Pat Williams

   All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers
 ~sayings on Financial by Orison Swett Marden

   Most men would kill the truth if truth would kill their religion.
 ~quotations on Religion by Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays

   We are seldom happy with what we now have, but would go to pieces if we lost any part of it.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Booker T. Washington

   A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.
 ~quote about Health by Kin Hubbard

   Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.
 ~quotes on Cinema by John LeCarre

   Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance.
 ~sayings on Life by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
 ~quotations on Age by Bob Hope

   When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Leo Burnett

   You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Chris Rock, Bigger and Blacker

   The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool..
 ~quote about Wisdom by William Shakespeare, As You Like It

   Whatever you do they will love you; even if they don't love you they are connected to you till you die. You can be boring and tedious with sisters, whereas you have to put on a good face with friends.
 ~quotes on Sisters by Deborah Moggach

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