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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
 ~quote about Clothing by P.G. Wodehouse

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   Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
 ~quotes on Love by Hoosier Farmer

   The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.
 ~sayings on Attitude by W.J. Cameron

   Boredom flourishes too, when you feel safe. It's a symptom of security.
 ~quotations on Boredom by Eugene Ionesco

   Almost the whole of history is but a sequence of horrors.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Sébastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort, Maxims and Considerations

   What lies lurk in kisses.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Heinrich Heine

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   Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history.
 ~quote about Changes by Joan Wallach Scott

   If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.
 ~quotes on Love by Emma Goldman, The Tragedy of Women's Emancipation

   If I were to say, ''God, why me?'' about the bad things, then I should have said, ''God, why me?'' about the good things that happened in my life.
 ~sayings on Attitude by Arthur Ashe

   Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.
 ~quotations on Carpe Diem by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Moderation is a fatal thing; nothing succeeds like excess.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance, 1894

   Nature is impartial, too old-fashioned and square to be playing favorites.
 ~saying about sarcastic by

   There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.
 ~quote about Sleep by Author Unknown

   There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
 ~quotes on Helping by Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have a Stop

   The best of my education has come from the public library... my tuition fee is a bus fare and once in a while, five cents a day for an overdue book. You don't need to know very much to start with, if you know the way to the public library.
 ~sayings on Learning by Lesley Conger

   It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one.
 ~quotations on Grandparents by Author Unknown

   Your distress about life might mean you have been living for the wrong reason, not that you have no reason for living.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Tom O'Connor

   The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Mark Twain

   We climb mountains because they are there, and worship God because He is not.
 ~quote about God by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one
 ~quotes on Friends by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   There’s hope for every failure, as long as he doesn’t blame others for his fate.
 ~sayings on Self Confidence by

   When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.
 ~quotations on Golf by Author Unknown

   Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Woody Allen

   I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
 ~saying about sarcastic by John Cage

   A history in which every particular incident may be true may on the whole be false.
 ~quote about History by Thomas Babington Macaulay

   The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.
 ~quotes on Goals by Author Unknown

   The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
 ~sayings on Money by Mad Magazine

   At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
 ~quotations on Parties by Ann Landers

   Were there no God, we would be in this glorious world with grateful hearts and no one to thank.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Christina Rossetti

   I'll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Emily Dickinson

   No radical change on the plane of history is possible without crime.
 ~quote about Civil Disobedience by Hermann Keyserling

   The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.
 ~quotes on Money by M.W. Harrison

   The final story, the final chapter of western man, I believe, lies in Los Angeles.
 ~sayings on Places by Phil Ochs

   The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!
 ~quotations on Marriage by Walter Winchell

   In the country the darkness of night is friendly and familiar, but in a city, with its blaze of lights, it is unnatural, hostile and menacing. It is like a monstrous vulture that hovers, biding its time.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Somerset Maugham

   Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Orson Scott Card

   All philosophy in two words, - sustain and abstain.
 ~quote about Wise Words by Epictetus

   The unrecorded past is none other than our old friend, the tree in the primeval forest which fell without being heard.
 ~quotes on History by Barbara Tuchman

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