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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
 ~quote about Drugs by John Hardwick

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   The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble.
 ~quotes on Brothers by Clara Ortega

   He's a wonderful talker, who has the art of telling you nothing in a great harangue.
 ~sayings on Speaking by Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope

   You have come into a hard world. I know of only one easy place in it, and that is the grave.
 ~quotations on Curmudgeons by Henry Ward Beecher

   Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Frederick W. Robertson

   A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Author Unknown

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   The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
 ~quote about Money by Frank Hubbard

   Platonic love is like an inactive volcano
 ~quotes on Love by Andre Pevost

   We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts.
 ~sayings on Ideals by Harold Nicolson

   Metaphysics may be, after all, only the art of being sure of something that is not so, and logic only the art of going wrong with confidence.
 ~quotations on Logic by Joseph Wood Krutch, The Modern Temper, 1929 (Thank you, Jeff.)

   Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by William R. Alger

   No man sees far; the most see no farther than their noses.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Thomas Carlyle, Count Cagliostro, 1833

   Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice.
 ~quote about Grandparents by Author Unknown

   When one tears away the veils and shows them naked, people's souls give off such a pungent smell of decay.
 ~quotes on Soul by Octave Mirbeau

   It would not be at all strange if history came to the conclusion that the perfection of the bicycle was the greatest incident of the nineteenth century.
 ~sayings on Bicycling by Author Unknown

   Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are.
 ~quotations on Compliments by Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1899

   Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Eric Hoffer

   Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Author Unknown

   A slip of the foot, you’ll soon recover; a slip of the tongue may last forever.
 ~quote about Friendship by

   Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?
 ~quotes on Golf by Bob Hope

   If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation?
 ~sayings on New Job Congrats by Author Unknown

   We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.
 ~quotations on Community by Herman Melville

   Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Don Marquis

   If you want to understand today, you have to search yesterday.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Pearl Buck

   Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
 ~quote about Helping by Edmund Burke

   Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
 ~quotes on Clothing by Benny Hill

   Boredom is a vital problem of the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it
 ~sayings on Boredom by Bertrand Russell, philosopher and logician

   If everyone were clothed with integrity, if every heart were just, frank, kindly, the other virtues would be well-nigh useless, since their chief purpose is to make us bear with patience the injustice of our fellows.
 ~quotations on Integrity by Jean Baptiste Molière, Le Misanthrope

   You must be the change you wish to see in the world
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Mahatma Ghandi

   It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that he entraps them by the force of the very passion they have suppressed and think themselves superior to.
 ~saying about sarcastic by George Santayana

   God gave burdens, also shoulders
 ~quote about Patriot Day by Yiddish Proverb

   Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
 ~quotes on Humor by Mark Twain

   Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.
 ~sayings on Education by Mark Twain

   No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
 ~quotations on Women by H.L. Mencken

   If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Ashleigh Brilliant

   A lawyer is a gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Lord Brougham

   We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams
 ~quote about Dreams by Arthur O'Shaughnessy

   Basketball, hockey and track meets are action heaped upon action, climax upon climax, until the onlooker's responses become deadened. Baseball is for the leisurely afternoons of summer and for the unchanging dreams.
 ~quotes on Baseball by Roger Kahn

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