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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   A seed hidden in the heart of an apple is an orchard invisible.
 ~quote about Trees by Welsh Proverb

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   The mathematics are distinguished by a particular privilege, that is, in the course of ages, they may always advance and can never recede.
 ~quotes on Math by Edward Gibbon, Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

   There are times in everyone's life when something constructive is born out of adversity... when things seem so bad that you've got to grab your fate by the shoulders and shake it
 ~sayings on Adversity by Author Unknown

   Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
 ~quotations on Mornings by William Feather

   What we can’t learn from proverbs we must learn from experience. Which is cheaper?
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by

   Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

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   To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
 ~quote about Friendship by Unknown

   Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.
 ~quotes on Confidence by Sophia Loren

   Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears.
 ~sayings on Courage by Arthur Koestler

   Age is a slowing down of everything except fear.
 ~quotations on Age by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Mac O'Grady, describing a typical round of golf

   Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Robin Morgan

   A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.
 ~quote about Honesty by Edgar J. Mohn

   I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
 ~quotes on Human Rights by Gandhi

   'Tis better to suffer wrong than do it.
 ~sayings on Integrity by Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732

   Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.
 ~quotations on Books Reading by Jessamyn West

   Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Mother Teresa

   Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
 ~saying about sarcastic by H. Jackson Browne

   Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
 ~quote about Computers by Author Unknown

   Enthusiasm is the invisible magnet that draws others to your view.
 ~quotes on Relationship by

   Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." . . . . It is when two such person discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision - it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude
 ~sayings on Friendship by C.S. Lewis

   Now the melancholy God protect thee, and the tailor make thy garments of changeable taffeta, for thy mind is opal.
 ~quotations on Jewelry by William Shakespeare, The Twelfth Night

   Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Robert Frost

   One cannot too soon forget his errors and misdemeanors; for to dwell upon them is to add to the offense.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Henry David Thoreau

   The tree is more than first a seed, then a stem, then a living trunk, and then dead timber. The tree is a slow, enduring force straining to win the sky.
 ~quote about Trees by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Wisdom of the Sands, translated from French by Stuart Gilbert

   After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual food out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.
 ~quotes on Food by Miss Piggy

   The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul
 ~sayings on Cute by Linda Knight

   History is the transformation of tumultuous conquerors into silent footnotes.
 ~quotations on History by Paul Eldridge, Maxims for a Modern Man

   Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

   Lost some where between sunrise and sunset, two precious hours, each set with sixty priceless minutes. No reward is offered as they are gone – forever, as there is no resurrection for lost time. Count that day lost, whose low, descending sun, sees at thy hand, no worthy action done.
 ~saying about sarcastic by

   Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
 ~quote about Marriage by Katherine Hepburn

   Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's blunders?
 ~quotes on God by Friedrich Nietzsche

   Most grandmas have a touch of the scallywag.
 ~sayings on Grandparents by Helen Thomson

   Humanity is on the march, earth itself is left behind.
 ~quotations on Environment by David Ehrenfeld, The Arrogance of Humanism, 1978

   We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Thornton Wilder

   Don't try to fix the students, fix ourselves first. The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior. When our students fail, we, as teachers, too, have failed.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Marva Collins

   The winner does in the beginning what the failure does in the end – learns from others.
 ~quote about Success by

   If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim
 ~quotes on Adversity by Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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