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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting lower ever since.
 ~quote about Humankind by Josh Billings

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   You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love
 ~quotes on Love Quotes by Michael

   Better bread with water than cake with trouble
 ~sayings on Adversity by Russian Proverb

   Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves.
 ~quotations on Women by Elissa Melamed

   When I look for my existence I do not look for it in myself.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

   I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Ralph Waldo Emerson

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   Work cure is the best of all psychotherapy, in my opinion.... As well might we expect a patient to recover without food as to recover without work.... The sound man needs work to keep him sound, but the nervous invalid has an even greater need of work to draw him out of his isolation, and to stop the miseries of doubt and self-scrutiny, to win back self-respect and the support of fellowship.
 ~quote about Psychology by Richard C. Cabot

   I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
 ~quotes on Golf by Bob Hope, about his golfing

   There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.
 ~sayings on Golf by Lee Trevino

   Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
 ~quotations on Education by Will Durant

   True love stories never have endings.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Richard Bach (Thank you, Bonnie.)

   War is nothing less than a temporary repeal of the principles of virtue. It is a system out of which almost all the virtues are excluded, and in which nearly all the vices are included.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Robert Hall

   I cannot concentrate all my friendship on any single one of my friends because no one is complete enough in himself
 ~quote about Friendship by Anais Nin

   Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
 ~quotes on Self-Discovery by Alan Watts

   A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers.
 ~sayings on Government by Jay Leno

   Our love could change the orbit of the earth. So, if a meteor ever comes hurtling towards earth with the guarantee of destruction, top scientists may call on us to, well, you know, do it like crazy for the sake of humankind.
 ~quotations on Sex by Author Unknown

   Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Gallagher

   For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Clifton Fadiman

   A friend is a brother who was once a bother.
 ~quote about Brothers by Author Unknown

   How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it.
 ~quotes on Attitude by George Alliston

   The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple.
 ~sayings on Simplicity by Doris Janzen Longacre

   If God had been a Liberal there wouldn't have been Ten Commandments, there would have been Ten Suggestions.
 ~quotations on Politics by Malcolm Bradbury, After Dinner Game, 1982

   Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Author Unknown

   Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Henry David Thoreau

   When we heal the earth, we heal ourselves.
 ~quote about Environment by David Orr

   The lost leaves measure our years; they are gone as the days are gone.
 ~quotes on Age by Richard Jefferies, The Life of the Fields, 1908

   What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
 ~sayings on America by Will Rogers

   Self-discipline is a great time-saver; it is the ability to make yourself work on only those things that are most important to you.
 ~quotations on Self Discipline by Brian Tracy

   I have received no more than one or two letters in my life that were worth the postage.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Henry David Thoreau, Walden

   I, who cannot stay in my chamber for a single day without acquiring some rust, and when sometimes I have stolen forth for a walk at the eleventh hour of four o'clock in the afternoon, too late to redeem the day, when the shades of night were already beginning to be mingled with the daylight, have felt as if I had committed some sin to be atoned for.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Henry David Thoreau

   Seventy-seven percent of anti-abortion leaders are men. 100% of them will never be pregnant.
 ~quote about Abortion by Planned Parenthood advertisement

   History: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
 ~quotes on History by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.
 ~sayings on Math by Albert Einstein

   No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy
 ~quotations on Women's Greetings by Henry Kissinger

   Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by James Naismith

   Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Erich Fromm

   We don't need to eat anyone who would run, swim, or fly away if he could.
 ~quote about Vegetarianism by James Cromwell

   We visit others as a matter of social obligation. How long has it been since we have visited with ourselves?
 ~quotes on Solitude by Morris Adler

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