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sarcastic quotes for your Self help needs

   The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
 ~quote about Computers by Sydney J. Harris

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   I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
 ~quotes on Dieting by Shelley Winters

   When I was growing up, there were two things that were unpopular in my house. One was me, and the other was my guitar
 ~sayings on Celebrity by Bruce Springsteen

   It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness
 ~quotations on Adversity by Cicero

   Permit no one to dissuade you from pursuing the goals you set for yourselves. Do not fear to pioneer. To venture down new paths of endeavor.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Ralph J. Bunche

   A library is thought in cold storage.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Herbert Samuel

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   Morphine and state relief are the same. You go dopey, feel better and are worse off.
 ~quote about Government by Martin H. Fischer

   Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.
 ~quotes on Patience by Lord Chesterfield

   The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around.... Throughout history, tender loving care has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.
 ~sayings on Health by Larry Dossey

   Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body.
 ~quotations on Body by Irene Claremont de Castillejo

   On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by William Jennings Bryan

   Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
 ~saying about sarcastic by William James

   Being 'willing', moves you beyond your limitations and into greatness.
 ~quote about Success by Nisandeh Neta

   The real differences around the world today are not between Jews and Arabs; Protestants and Catholics; Muslims, Croats, and SerbsThe real differences are between those who embrace peace and those who would destroy it; between those who look to the future
 ~quotes on Patriot Day by William J. Clinton, 1997

   A friend is the only person you will let into the house when you are Turning Out Drawers
 ~sayings on For a Friend by Pam Brown

   Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.
 ~quotations on Love by Author Unknown

   Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Victor Hugo, Les Misérables, 1862

   It is one of the secrets of Nature in its mood of mockery that fine weather lays heavier weight on the mind and hearts of the depressed and the inwardly tormented than does a really bad day with dark rain sniveling continuously and sympathetically from a dirty sky.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Muriel Spark, Territorial Rights, 1979

   I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.
 ~quote about Environment by Elwyn Brooks White, Essays of E.B. White, 1977

   Clothes are never a frivolity: they always mean something.
 ~quotes on Clothing by James Laver

   It is loneliness that makes the loudest noiseThis is true of men as of dogs
 ~sayings on Missing You by Eric Hoffer

   Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
 ~quotations on Perfection by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

   The words I am are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by A.L. Kitselman

   How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard
 ~saying about sarcastic by From the movie Annie

   Government in the U.S. today is a senior partner in every business in the country.
 ~quote about Business by Norman Cousins

   Physic is, for the most part, only a substitute for temperance and exercise.
 ~quotes on Health by Joseph Addison

   If wisdom and diamonds grew on the same tree we could soon tell how much men loved wisdom.
 ~sayings on Jewelry by Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911

   Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
 ~quotations on Goals by Life's Little Instruction Book, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   America is a tuneIt must be sung together
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by Gerald Stanley Lee, Crowds

   I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
 ~saying about sarcastic by T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

   Memory itself is an internal rumour.
 ~quote about Memory by George Santayana, The Life of Reason

   The best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart.
 ~quotes on Miscellaneous by Alan Alda

   Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own
 ~sayings on Mothers Day by Aristotle

   Forgiving saves the high cost of anger and the higher cost of hating.
 ~quotations on Attitude by

   Faith is courage; it is creative while despair is always destructive.
 ~funny quotes sarcastic by David S. Muzzey

   Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988

   They say genes skip generations. Maybe that's why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable.
 ~quote about Generations by Joan McIntosh

   How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born.
 ~quotes on Men by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

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