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sarcastic sayings for your Self help needs

   Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
 ~quote about Compassion by Buddha
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   I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five.
 ~quotes on Dental by Martin H. Fischer

   There is more to life than increasing its speed.
 ~sayings on Stress by Mohandas K. Gandhi

   Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray.
 ~quotations on Food by Author Unknown

   In general people experience their present naively, as it were, without being able to form an estimate of its contents; they have first to put themselves at a distance from it - the present, that is to say, must have become the past - before it can yield points of vantage from which to judge the future.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Sigmund Freud, The Future of an Illusion

   All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving
may be yours and not your inheritors.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Kahlil Gibran
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   There is an itch in runners.
 ~quote about Running by Arnold Hano

   Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Martin Luther King, Jr.

   There's no such thing as fun for the whole family.
 ~sayings on Humorous by Jerry Seinfeld

   If you start to think about your physical or moral condition, you usually find that you are sick.
 ~quotations on Health by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Proverbs in Prose

   In the mountains the shortest route is from peak to peak but for that you must have long legs. Aphorisms should be peaks, and those to whom they are addressed should be big and tall of stature.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Friedrich Nietzsche

   For me, painting is a way to forget life. It is a cry in the night, a strangled laugh.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Georges Rouault

   Americans always try to do the right thing after they've tried everything else.
 ~quote about America by Winston Churchill

   A song has a few rights the same as ordinary citizens... if it happens to feel like flying where humans cannot fly... to scale mountains that are not there, who shall stop it?
 ~quotes on Music by Charles Ives

   Instant availability without continuous presence is probably the best role a mother can play.
 ~sayings on Parenting by Lotte Bailyn

   Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.
 ~quotations on Baseball by George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

   Beauty is a radiance that originates from within and comes from inner security and strong character
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Jane Seymour

   Love is a symbol of eternityIt wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end
 ~saying about sarcastic by Author Unknown

   Books support us in our solitude and keep us from being a burden to ourselves.
 ~quote about Books Reading by Jeremy Collier

   When we are alone on a starlit night, when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children, when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet, Basho, we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash - at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the newness, the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, all these provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.
 ~quotes on Life by Thomas Merton

   Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
 ~sayings on Women by Charlotte Whitton

   We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us.
 ~quotations on Driving by Cary T. Grayson

   Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Francis Bacon

   There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.
 ~saying about sarcastic by Guy Almes

   To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.
 ~quote about Golden Mean by Confucius, Analects

   Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
 ~quotes on Censorship by George Bernard Shaw, The Rejected Statement, Part I, The Shewing-Up of Blanco Posnet, 1911

   There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house.
 ~sayings on Books Reading by Joe Ryan

   We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology.
 ~quotations on Technology by Carl Sagan

   There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Clyde Moore

   But fate ordains that dearest friends must part
 ~saying about sarcastic by Edward Young

   All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say, Yo Goober! Where's the meat? I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
 ~quote about Vegetarianism by Matt Groening, The Simpsons, spoken by the character Homer Simpson

   Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
 ~quotes on Attitude by Benjamin Franklin

   We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy.
 ~sayings on Philosophy by Martin L. Gross, A Call for Revolution, 1993

   Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.
 ~quotations on Action by Alfred Adler

   When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
 ~funny sarcastic saying by Jonathan Swift

   Isn't it amazing the way the future succeeds in creating an appropriate past?
 ~saying about sarcastic by John Leonard

   My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.
 ~quote about Happiness by Thornton Wilder

   Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.
 ~quotes on Wise Words by Kathryn Carpenter
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