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funny sayings for your Self help needs

   The body is a big sagacity, a plurality with one sense, a war and a peace, a flock and a shepherd.
 ~quote about Body by Friedrich Nietzsche
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   Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
 ~quotes on Society by Erik Pepke

   Church tax exemption means that we all drop our money in the collection boxes, whether we go to church or not and whether we are interested in the church or not. It is systematic and complete robbery, from which none of us escapes.
 ~sayings on Religion by E. Haldeman-Julius, The Church Is a Burden, Not a Benefit, In Social Life

   Supreme joy comes from doing a kindness by stealth, and having it discovered by accident.
 ~quotations on Happiness by

   If a mistake is not a stepping stone, it is a mistake.
 ~funny saying by Eli Siegel

   Mountain pose is an affirmation. You can conquer anything with your natural boldness and resolute strength. Only you can reach the peak of your success.
 ~saying about funny by Terri Guillemets
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   Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
 ~quote about Kisses by Albert Einstein

   I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.
 ~quotes on Carpe Diem by Hazel Lee

   There are... things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.
 ~sayings on Self-Discovery by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground, 1864

   Liberty means responsibilityThat is why most men dread it
 ~quotations on Independence Day by George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, "Maxims: Liberty and Equality," 1905

   The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.
 ~funny saying by Author Unknown, in reference to Ecclesiastes 9:11, I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race

   If Columbus had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock
 ~saying about funny by Arthur Goldberg

   Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great
 ~quote about Love Sayings by Translation

   Thrift costs nothing, but starts all fortunes.
 ~quotes on Wealth by

   Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.
 ~sayings on Age by Quoted by Francis Bacon, Apothegm

   In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination.
 ~quotations on Religion by Mark Twain

   If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on the human face - forever.
 ~funny saying by George Orwell

   Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses.
 ~saying about funny by Ira Wallach

   When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
 ~quote about Politics by P.J. O'Rourke

   Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection.
 ~quotes on Sex by Author Unknown

   Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I.
 ~sayings on Housework by Anne Gibbons

   We can buy players for £2m, but it's only when you buy a player for £6m that you can guarantee that they will bring something to the team every game.
 ~quotations on Sports by Dick Advocaat

   She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
 ~funny saying by Woody Allen, Getting Even, 1973

   A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
 ~saying about funny by Bill Vaughan

   It might be more worthwhile if we stopped wringing our hands and started ringing our congressmen.
 ~quote about Government by Author Unknown

   It's snowing still, said Eeyore gloomily. So it is. And freezing. Is it? Yes, said Eeyore. However, he said, brightening up a little, we haven't had an earthquake lately.
 ~quotes on Attitude by A.A. Milne

   All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.
 ~sayings on Freedom by Sir Winston Churchill

   Envy is a waste of time.
 ~quotations on Jealousy by Author Unknown

   If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problemEverything else is inconvenience
 ~funny saying by Robert Fulghum

   Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves
 ~saying about funny by William Pitt

   We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes.
 ~quote about Beauty by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
 ~quotes on Vices by Woody Allen

   You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
 ~sayings on Risk by James Thurber

   There are thousands of thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up the pen and writes.
 ~quotations on Writing by William Makepeace Thackeray

   You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.
 ~funny saying by Gene Mauch

   Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
 ~saying about funny by Jonathan Kozel

   I simply believe that some part of the human Self or Soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.
 ~quote about Soul by Carl Jung

   Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
 ~quotes on Goals by David Lloyd George
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