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funny sayings for your Self help needs

   Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it.
 ~quote about Honesty by Emily Dickinson

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   People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.
 ~quotes on Honesty by Richard J. Needham

   Your best protection from your enemies is to make them your friends.
 ~sayings on Friendship by

   I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
 ~quotations on Golf by Bob Hope

   If a thousand old beliefs were ruined in our march to truth we must still march on.
 ~funny saying quote by Stopford Brooke

   One cannot change yesterday, but only make the most of today, and look with hope toward tomorrow.
 ~saying about funny by

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   Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age
 ~quote about Mothers Day by William Feather, The Business of Life, 1949

   If things go wrong, don't go with them.
 ~quotes on Worry by Roger Babson

   Individual possession is the great entering wedge, which has split society into eight hundred million fragments.... It virtually, practically, and theoretically denies the brotherhood of man.
 ~sayings on Property by Hiram Stafford, The Liberator, 8 September 1844

   It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
 ~quotations on Justice by Author unknown, quoted in Sunshine magazine

   I am not eccentric. It's just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish.
 ~funny saying quote by Dame Edith Sitwell

   A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
 ~saying about funny by Thomas Mann, Essays of Three Decades, 1947

   A preoccupation with the future not only prevents us from seeing the present as it is but often prompts us to rearrange the past.
 ~quote about Future by Eric Hoffer

   The sun lay like a friendly arm across her shoulder.
 ~quotes on Weather by Margorie Kinnan Rawlings, South Moon Under

   I think that the insane desire one has sometimes to bang and kick grumblers and peevish persons is a Divine instinct.
 ~sayings on Complaining by Robert Hugh Benson

   I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
 ~quotations on Famous Saying by George Carlin

   The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
 ~funny saying quote by Helen Rowland

   My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
 ~saying about funny by Orson Welles

   'Tis the good reader that makes the good book; in every book he finds passages which seem confidences or asides hidden from all else and unmistakenly meant for his ear; the profit of books is according to the sensibility of the reader; the profoundest thought or passion sleeps as in a mine, until it is discovered by an equal mind and heart.
 ~quote about Books Reading by Ralph Waldo Emerson, Society and Solitude, 1870

   Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
 ~quotes on American football by Jim Bouton

   It's a mere moment in a man's life between an All-Star Game and an Old-timers' Game.
 ~sayings on Age by Vin Scully

   The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.
 ~quotations on Dogs by Mme. de Staël

   The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.
 ~funny saying quote by G.K. Chesterton

   Anger and folly walk cheek by jole.
 ~saying about funny by Benjamin Franklin

   I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.
 ~quote about Carpe Diem by Diane Ackerman

   To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.
 ~quotes on Dancing by Hopi Indian Saying

   Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
 ~sayings on Smiles by Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

   The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.
 ~quotations on Computers by Author Unknown

   Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination.
 ~funny saying quote by Christian Nevell Bovee

   The public history of all countries, and all ages, is but a sort of mask, richly colored. The interior working of the machinery must be foul.
 ~saying about funny by John Quincy Adams

   To be a poet is a condition, not a profession.
 ~quote about Poetry by Robert Frost

   Gardening is about enjoying the smell of things growing in the soil, getting dirty without feeling guilty, and generally taking the time to soak up a little peace and serenity.
 ~quotes on Gardens by Lindley Karstens, noproblemgarden.com

   Truly, that reason upon which we plume ourselves, though it may answer for little things, yet for great decisions is hardly surer than a toss-up.
 ~sayings on Reason by Charles Sanders Peirce

   To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine.
 ~quotations on Medical by Henry Ward Beecher

   There is no underground community, no dark den of drunken sailors initiating themselves into manhood via cheap, ill-conceived exercises in bodily perforation; it's just a group of people who delight in using their bodies as billboards.
 ~funny saying quote by Joanne McCubrey, Walking Art: Tattoos, Mountain Democrat Weekend magazine, 9 February 1990

   The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
 ~saying about funny by Henry Miller

   A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
 ~quote about Friendship by Ralph Waldo Emerson

   My cock doesn't talk politics.
 ~quotes on Sex by S. Sachs

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