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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Dick Cavett
      If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Dave Barry
      You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Rodney Dangerfield
      I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Gallagher
      Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.
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Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Mel Brooks
      If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Mel Brooks
      Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Mel Brooks
      I'm a man of the world, Andy. Why, I've even been to Raleigh!

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Mel Brooks
      Deputy Barney Fife (Don Knotts on the Andy Griffith Show)

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : David Brenner
      A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

Quote Type : Funny Quotes   Funny Sayings By : Unknown
      I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

Type: Dance   Quotes By: Emma Goldman
      If I can not dance, I want no part in your revolution

Type: Patriotic   Quotes By: Mark Twain
      Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn'tYou cannot shirk this and be a manTo decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to you

Type: Books   Quotes By: Justin Timberlake
      You mean like a book?

Type: Attitude   Quotes By: 
      That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.

Type: Baseball   Quotes By: Umpire Joe Brinkman
      They can hollar at the uniform all they want, but when they hollar at the man wearing the uniform, they're in trouble

Type: Attitude   Quotes By: Ralph Waldo Emerson
      If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap, than his neighbor, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door.

Type: Success   Quotes By: Virgil
      They can because they think they can.


Type: Attitude   Quotes By: Francis Bacon
      If a man be gracious to strangers, it shows that he is a citizen of the world, and his heart is no island, cut off from other islands, but a continent that joins them.

Type: Dreams   Quotes By: William Butler Yeats
      In dreams begins responsibility

Type: Graduation   Quotes By: Gary Bolding
      Your families are extremely proud of youYou can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencingThis would be a most opportune time to ask for money

Type: Dreams   Quotes By: Marion Woodman
      It is amazing that our souls--our eternal essences, with all their hopes and dreams and visions of an eternal world--are contained within the temporal bodies. No wonder suffering is part of the human condition

Type: Adversity   Quotes By: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell
      It is always in the midst, in the epicenter, of your troubles that you find serenity

Type: April Fool's Day   Quotes By: Henry Louis Mencken
      A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark

Type: Adversity   Quotes By: Rona Barrett
      The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs itWhether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul
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