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funny quotes for your Self help needs

   [History is] petrified imagination.
 ~quote about History by Arthur Baer

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   The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
 ~quotes on Gratitude by Henry Ward Beecher

   The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.
 ~sayings on Men by Madame de Staël

   All I've got against it is that it takes you so far from the clubhouse.
 ~quotations on Golf by Eric Linklater, Poet's Pub, 1929

   April fool, nThe March fool with another month added to his folly
 ~good funny quotes by Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

   Half the fun of the travel is the esthetic of lostness.
 ~saying about funny by Ray Bradbury

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   There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.
 ~quote about Pregnancy by Irena Chalmers

   A real friend is someone who would feel loss if you jumped on a train, or in front of one
 ~quotes on For a Friend by Author Unknown

   The vices of the rich and great are mistaken for error; and those of the poor and lowly, for crimes.
 ~sayings on Justice by Lady Marguerite Blessington

   Love is what you've been through with somebody.
 ~quotations on Love by James Thurber, quoted in Life magazine, 1960

   If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it
 ~good funny quotes by Mary Engelbreit

   Our body is a machine for living. It is organized for that, it is its nature. Let life go on in it unhindered and let it defend itself, it will do more than if you paralyze it by encumbering it with remedies.
 ~saying about funny by Leo Tolstoy

   Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.
 ~quote about Jealousy by Elizabeth O'Connor

   Theory helps us bear our ignorance of facts.
 ~quotes on Miscellaneous by George Santayana, The Sense of Beauty, 1896

   We are not accountable for the sins of Adam.
 ~sayings on Religion by Robert G. Ingersoll

   Life moves pretty fastIf you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it
 ~quotations on Party Invitations by From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off

   A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
 ~good funny quotes by Peter McArthur

   It takes a while to grasp that not all failures are self-imposed, the result of ignorance, carelessness or inexperience. It takes a while to grasp that a garden isn't a testing ground for character and to stop asking, what did I do wrong? Maybe nothing.
 ~saying about funny by Eleanor Perényi, Green Thoughts, 1981

   No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
 ~quote about Attitude by Abraham Lincoln

   I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.
 ~quotes on Feminism by Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate

   If we don't end war, war will end us.
 ~sayings on War by H.G. Wells, Things to Come, 1935

   If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
 ~quotations on Funny Quotes by Woody Allen

   If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
 ~good funny quotes by Stephen Levine

   Debt is the worst poverty.
 ~saying about funny by Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732

   If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it!
 ~quote about Grandparents by Hannah Whithall Smith

   If you're going to tickle, use a feather not a whip.
 ~quotes on Philosophical by Audrey Foris, C'est l'esprit du coq rouge (Red Rooster Musings, trans.)

   These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
 ~sayings on Golf by Sam Snead

   The tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst.
 ~quotations on War by Henry Fosdick

   The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there.
 ~good funny quotes by George Bernard Shaw, The Adventures of the Black Girl in Her Search for God, 1932

   Science... never solves a problem without creating ten more.
 ~saying about funny by George Bernard Shaw

   Success is dependent upon the glands; sweat glands.
 ~quote about Success by Zig Ziglar

   Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
 ~quotes on Anger by Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

   When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
 ~sayings on Gossip by Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

   The oaks and the pines, and their brethren of the wood, have seen so many suns rise and set, so many seasons come and go, and so many generations pass into silence, that we may well wonder what the story of the trees would be to us if they had tongues to tell it, or we ears fine enough to understand.
 ~quotations on Trees by Author Unknown, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren, 1938

   Time is painted with a lock before, and bald behind, signifying thereby that we must take time by the forelock; for, when it is once past, there is no recalling it.
 ~good funny quotes by Jonathan Swift

   Sport is where an entire life can be compressed into a few hours, where the emotions of a lifetime can be felt on an acre or two of ground, where a person can suffer and die and rise again on six miles of trails through a New York City park. Sport is a theater where sinner can turn saint and a common man become an uncommon hero, where the past and the future can fuse with the present. Sport is singularly able to give us peak experiences where we feel completely one with the world and transcend all conflicts as we finally become our own potential.
 ~saying about funny by George A. Sheehan

   All love is probationary, a fact which frightens women and exhilarates men.
 ~quote about Love by Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

   Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's EveMiddle age is when you're forced to
 ~quotes on New Year by Bill Vaughn

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quotes from the movie love and basketball
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really funny sayings
cute aim quotes
cute flirty quotes
religious friendship quotes
good man quotes
cute quotes and icon
daily inspirational quote
lost love quote
famous presidential quote
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cute teen friendship quotes
famous tupac quote
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teenage love poem and quote

Inspirational Quotes
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