After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi Author:P.J. O'Rourke
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunkThis drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to Author:P.J. O'Rourke
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying(Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more oftenUsually it makes the kid laughSometimes it s Author:P.J. O'Rourke
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year Author:P.J. O'Rourke
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at ChristmastimeMature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them Author:P.J. O'Rourke
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying(Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more oftenUsually it makes the kid laughSometimes it s Author:P.J. O'Rourke