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Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: James Thurber
      Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Charlie Chaplin
      Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Carol Burnett
      Comedy is tragedy plus time

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Steven Wright
      (Referring to a glass of water) I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody
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Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Steven Wright
      I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Mel Brooks
      Humor is just another defense against the universe

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Steven Wright
      Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Woody Allen
      Everybody says that comedy is harder to do. That's become a truism by now, but it's wrong. Comedy is not harder. The hardest thing is to do good work, whatever it is

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Lenny Bruce
      All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world was tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Steven Wright
      OK, so what's the speed of dark

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Unknown
      If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor

Sayings Type: Comedy   Author: Unknown
      A sense of humor is the lubricant of life's machinery

Type: Competence   Inspirational Author: Vaclav Havel
      If every day a man takes orders in silence from an incompetent superior, if every day he solemnly performs ritual acts which he privately finds ridiculous, if he unhesitatingly gives answers to questionnaires which are contrary to his real opinions and is prepared to deny his own self in public, if he sees no difficulty in feigning sympathy or even affection where, in fact, he feels only indifference or aversion, it still does not mean that he has entirely lost the use of one of the basic human senses, namely, the sense of humiliation

Type: Humor   Inspirational Author: 
      Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Type: Attitude   Inspirational Author: me!
      girls rule but boys...the is another story

Type: I'm Sorry   Inspirational Author: Kimberly Johnson
      Never ruin an apology with an excuse

Type: Attitude   Inspirational Author: Buddha
      The virtues, like the Muses, are always seen in groups. A good principle was never found solitary in any breast.

Type: Birthday Sayings   Inspirational Author: Jean Paul Richter
      Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time

Type: Birthdays   Inspirational Author: Jean Paul Richter
      Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time

Type: Cute   Inspirational Author: ee cummings
      The earth laughs in flowers

Type: Children   Inspirational Author: Assyrian
      Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching

Type: Birth   Inspirational Author: William Wordsworth
      Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting; The soul that rises with us, our life's star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar; Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home

Type: Christmas   Inspirational Author: Phillips Brooks
      The earth has grown old with its burden of care,But at Christmas it always is young.

Type: Groundhog Day   Inspirational Author: W.J. Vogel
      To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring

Type: Baseball   Inspirational Author: Danny Murtaugh
      Why certainly I'd like to have that fellow who hits a home run every time at bat, who strikes out every opposing batter when he's pitching, who throws strikes to any base or the plate when he's playing outfield and who's always thinking about two innings ahead just what he'll do to baffle the other team. Any manager would want a guy like that playing for him. The only trouble is to get him to put down his cup of beer and come down out of the stands and do those things
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