Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending.
~quote about Opportunities by Author Unknown
Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.
~quotes on Taxes by Alfred E. Neuman
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
~sayings on Adversity by John Vance Cheney
To lead by example is difficult when you're a follower of fear.
~quotations on Fear by T.A. Sachs
Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.
~random funny sayings by Author Unknown
What is wonderful about great literature is that it transforms the man who reads it towards the condition of the man who wrote.
~saying about random by E.M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy, 1951
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once
~quote about Birthdays by Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
~quotes on Funny Quotes by Unknown
God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go. Why not go to Jupiter? asked St. Peter. No, too much gravity, too much stomping around, said God. Well, how about Mercury? No, it's too hot there. Okay, said St. Peter, what about Earth? No, said God, They're such horrible gossips. When I was there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're still talking about it.
~sayings on Religion by Author Unknown
Trust that little voice in your head that says Wouldn't it be interesting if... And then do it.
~quotations on Imagination by Duane Michals, More Joy of Photography
Basketball is the MTV of sports.
~random funny sayings by Sara Levinson
Error is a hardy plant; it flourishes in every soil.
~saying about random by Martin F. Tupper
This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place. Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters. Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder.
~quote about Caffeine by Honore de Balzac, The Pleasures and Pains of Coffee
Manners must adorn knowledge and smooth its way in the world, without them it is like a great rough diamond, very well in a closet by way of curiosity, and also for its intrinsic value; but most prized when polished.
~quotes on Jewelry by Lord Chesterfield
There is a story, which is fairly well known, about when the missionaries came to Africa. They had the Bible and we, the natives, had the land. They said Let us pray, and we dutifully shut our eyes. When we opened them, why, they now had the land and we had the Bible.
~sayings on Religion by Desmond M. Tutu, Religious Human Rights and the Bible (read the speech here)
People still retain the errors of their childhood, their nation, and their age, long after they have accepted the truths needed to refute them.
~quotations on Conformity by Condorcet, Progress of the Human Mind, 1794
The guardian angels of life fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
~random funny sayings by Jean Paul Richter
I would rather be adorned by beauty of character than jewels. Jewels are the gift of fortune, while character comes from within.
~saying about random by Titus Maccius Plautus
Who brings a tale takes two away.
~quote about Gossip by Irish Proverb
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
~quotes on Children by Unknown
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
~sayings on Laughter by Yiddish Proverb
Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
~quotations on Sex by George Burns
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip
~random funny sayings by Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"
The oldest books are still only just out to those who have not read them.
~saying about random by Samuel Butler
A widespread taste for pornography means that nature is alerting us to some threat of extinction.
~quote about Sex by J.G. Ballard, News from the Sun, Myths of the Near Future, 1982
Dreams do not vanish, so long as people do not abandon them
~quotes on Dreams by Phantom F. Harlock
Beauty's sister is vanity, and its daughter lust.
~sayings on Vanity by Author Unknown
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
~quotations on Education by Will Rogers
When you do things from your soul you feel a river moving in you, a joy. When action come from another section, the feeling disappears.
~random funny sayings by Jalal ad-Din Rumi
Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree.
~saying about random by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
We only live once. But if we live properly one is enough.
~quote about Living by
The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid.
~quotes on Speaking by Author Unknown
I got a postcard from my gynecologistIt said, "Did you know it's time for your annual check-up?" No, but now my mailman does
~sayings on Women's Greetings by Cathy Ladman
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
~quotations on Wise Words by Malcolm S. Forbes
The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.
~random funny sayings by William E. Borah
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.
~saying about random by Henry Ford
I believe in God; I just don't trust anyone who works for him.
~quote about God by Author Unknown
I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.
~quotes on Insults by Johnny Mercer, on a British musical
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